


Gundam Seed Memories

by WaffleToaster



Category: Gundam & Related Fandoms, Gundam SEED Destiny
Genre: Action/Adventure, Cyborgs, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gundams, M/M, Original Character(s), Retelling, Romance, Slow Build, War, Yaoi, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:17:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8013436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaffleToaster/pseuds/WaffleToaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of Seed Destiny with some major changes. 2 years since the war ended many things have changed. Science turned towards cybernetics to help victims regain what they have lost during the war. Shinn Asuka, first trial person to undergo a full body transplant, wonders what his life is worth after losing everything he loved when the next war is about ready to break out. Meanwhile Athrun Zala tries to find his place in the world, hiding his name in shame for all the bad he had once done and doing penance by trying to do what is right. When the two meet perhaps both can find some peace if not alone then with each other. A retelling of Gundam Seed Destiny, will turn away from the original plot and follow it's own in later chapters. [eventual AthrunxShinn]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phase 01: Ideals

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a long time since I have written anything, first time on AO as well since I used to go on Fanfiction.net and this site didn't exist yet.
> 
> Be aware this will not get occasional weekly updates, thinking this story through will take me some time even while knowing the direction I want to go in. So please bear with me.
> 
> This couple has been a favorite of mine since the series started and even though Destiny has never been the best, it is pretty much hated by everyone I talk to, I want to give it a twist and change it to match more on what I have in my head right now. Because it had quite some potential.
> 
>    
> It might start out and it will follow some of the major points in the plot but I want the characters (mainly our couple mains) to experience things differently and to have a different view on what goes on around them. Pretty much I want it to be more about them and their experience through it all.  
> If all ends well then I also have a sequel in mind.
> 
> It has been ages since I even saw Seed and even though I do some research here and there, there might be some errors.  
> But it might also be a good thing to not stick to the original script too much since I want to make my own thing out of it.
> 
> I don't know a lot about the posting on AO3, so again please bear with me. I am going to try my best!
> 
> Thanks you for reading this.

It still surprised him how much his mind could still do, how it could make him taste the ashes exactly the same as that day even when years had already passed.

Shinn felt the muscles in his calves spasm and twitch as his father pulled him along, his legs tired but his mind on such an edge that they wouldn’t stop running even if he wanted them to. He looked over his shoulder as his mother urged them on. Fire creeping up from the hills as the city burned and the wind picking up as mobile suits flew over.

 _I thought we would be safe,_ is what went through his head. The tension of war had already been there but none of them really knew what that meant. It was only something they saw on TV.

"Just a little further!" his father spoke when they suddenly stopped running.

His mother caught up with them, her hand around the arm of his younger sister, who was just as lost as he was. _Boats!_ he remembered. There were ships that would take them to safety!

“We have to hurry!” his father said again as he pulled Shinn along, his mother followed swiftly was it not for his sister suddenly putting up resistance.

“My phone!” His father stopped running and Shinn looked down the slope to see the pink item rolling down and coming to a stop not far from them.

“Leave it!” His mother shouted with anger, but Shinn knew how much that phone meant to her. When they were told the Earth Alliance would attack Orb they tried to pack their belongings however the only thing they managed to take was a suitcase filled with photographs, some money and clothes. The only thing his sister managed to take was her cellphone, everything else that was theirs was probably up in flames by now.

Shinn ripped his arm from his father’s grip and jumped down the slope, “I’ll get it!” He didn’t want to see his sister cry.

“Onii-chan!” she shouted as he made his way down to the phone, grabbing it tightly in his hand as he looked up the slope, raising the other to tell them he was alright. He remembered his sister’s smile right before...

A blaze of light that slowly faded as he suddenly found himself lying on concrete. Wasn’t he up the hill just now? He tried to look but his eyes stung heavy, one side felt hazy and he couldn’t see well with it no matter how many times he blinked. He tried to listen but couldn’t listen clearly. He tried to rub his eyes but found that his right arm wasn’t moving. His left still holding onto the phone which he dropped on the floor before him as he rubbed at his face.

His mother? His father? Mayu? Why wasn’t he hearing their voices?

His hand lowered and he closed right eye because he couldn’t see with it. _What happened?!_   His left hand lowered and was covered with dirt and blood. He watched his fingers shake and took notice of the blood around him. His breathing stalled and choked as he saw what had happened to his right arm. A shred of fabric stained with red was all he saw. It was gone. “M.. Mother?!” he shouted but could barely get the words out.

  
“Father..! M.. Mayu!” Finally he gazed upon the hillside before him in shock. Through the smoke and fire he saw that the entire hillside where he had been standing, where his family had been standing had been blown away. The trees that once stood had been broken like thin twigs and scattered. The ground turned upside down and everything once green was gone.

He gasped when he saw a foot among the rubble. “M..Mother!” he choked out. Her body had been thrown as if a boneless rag, shoes missing and dirt covering every inch of her skin, he could only see her legs but from the color of her dress he knew it was his mother. Flakes of red covering the ground around her and several trees stacking up on her torso.

Shinn couldn’t describe the feeling he then felt. His shoulders shook and tears made their way down his face, tears covered with blood and dirt. His right eye stung and he grabbed Mayu’s phone while trying to crawl forward using his left arm, his body wouldn’t get up. His legs wouldn’t move.

“No..” he begged as his eyes scanned the smoke filled crater that now resided where they were once standing. Surely his father would have protected his sister, surely they would be alright!

“No..” he whispered again as he saw what remained of his father, his body smeared out into a splash of red and quickly he searched the rest of the hillside in panic. His sister then, she had to be alright! She was a smart girl! But he gasped when he saw what was once her beautiful dress, now stained with flakes of red. Pulled up too high on one side. Her face turned away from him but lying there posed as if she had been thrown away carelessly.

“Ma.. Mayu!” he yelled with a croaked voice. She had to be alright! She was just wounded! She had been fine just then! The grip on his phone tightened as he tried to crawl. Footsteps could be heard from behind him.

 

“No.. Mayu.. Mayu!”

 

* * *

 

He awoke with a start and a gray hand slammed down on the alarm clock next to his bed. The internal screen cracking under the force of the arm.

Shinn sat up slowly, his left hand rubbing at his eyes as he scanned around his small apartment, slowly evening out his breathing. He lived in a small studio that was now mostly empty, couple of packed duffels at the door and a garment bag hanging on the side of an empty closet.

  
He blinked and in his line of vision an internal clock opened up. He was going to be late he realized while getting to his feet. Thin lines ran up the side of his legs, lighter than his pale skin already was and disappearing under his boxer shorts. His back was covered with the same, thin lines following the contours of his muscles up and down his arms to his wrists. The lines on his right arm stopped mid bicep where the pale skin was replaced by gray metal plating that shaped the rest of his arm and hand. Although mechanical it followed the smooth contours of his arm and fingers. The top of his lower arm labeled with stamped lettering; ZF-AS-05.

He got rid of the shirt he was wearing and dropped his boxers to the floor as he went to the bathroom for a quick shower to shake off his dream. Today was the first day he would officially be on board of a warship as a pilot, Durandal was expecting him to be on time. He better not disappoint him.

 

* * *

 

It had been two years since the war ended, two years since Athrun visited Zaft and even now he still felt pain inside his heart. But this time he wasn’t here because of fighting, war or because he was too blind to see the truth. This time he sides with Cagalli and stuck to her side to rebuild what was once destroyed.

  
“Are you alright Athrun?” she asked and Athrun turned his gaze away from the docking platform and sighed. “How many times do I have to say it? You can’t call me Athrun, my name is Alex Dino and I-”

“You are my loyal bodyguard who was born on Orb and have been a loyal friend to my family, I know!”

He smiled at the pout on Cagalli’s lip. She had disagreed with him on this many a term but he felt correct about changing his name, _people just wouldn’t understand,_  he thought.

His hands closed a magazine on his lap, it had been send to him by the chairman himself for whatever reason. 'I heard you were into robotics, perhaps this will interest you' is what the note said.

It interested him alright, these were things that didn’t exist two years ago and in the short time of recovery had taken off in development. Limb replacement therapy for veterans and victims of the war.

“First man makes the mobile suit to sit in and wage war and now,” Cagalli spoke and he looked up as she grabbed the folder from his lap “now they change themselves into living weapons.”

“How can you be so sure?”

She frowned at him “Trust me, it is only a matter of time.”

Cagalli was visiting Plant per request as worry grew in her own government concerning Zaft’s recent behavior. News had reached Orb that Zaft was rebuilding its military, that together with the announcement that there had been breakthrough in science regarding limb replacement therapy, concerned her because Orb had lent Plant assistance. The other families and council members of Orb grew restless hearing that their aid was being used to expand Zaft's military. This concern had been on his mind as well, how long would this peace last? The chairman had suggested they visit and meet on the day one of their newest and most advanced flagship would launch for the first time and leave its docking base. Minerva they called it. Cagalli still acted angry about it even when Athrun insisted her to act more professional.

“Another gunship?! I guess we have to show off!” He heard people say in the arrival hall as they passed it through with the railing system. Nothing out of the ordinary really. They passed a group of teenagers, mothers with children and government officials as they moved forward. There were a lot of civilians around and so he asked Cagalli “Are you sure about those clothes? Did you bring any dresses?”

Cagalli gazed at him in disapproval “These clothes are fine right?!”

His gaze softened and he moved closer to her. “These may be fine but you have to look the part sometimes. You’ll be meeting with Zaft’s chairman and there are plenty of people around, you don’t want to be seen as weak in front of them..”

Cagalli averted her gaze and kept silent.

 

* * *

 

 

From the boarding platform they left to the main elevator, exchanging small corridors and zero gravity for the open planes inside Plant’s colony. Cagalli gasped at the sight of green fields and blue lakes but inside Athrun felt no relief, instead he felt tense and wondered how today would go. He had a bad feeling about this.

Cagalli hadn’t met with many officials on her own and she was still learning how to lead a country and deal with political games. She had always been wild at heart and even though Athrun liked that about her he also knew that for others that side could be used as a weakness. He had to protect her from that.

“Welcome, princess of Orb.” Chairman Durandal of Zaft greeted them together with his lackeys.

Cagalli stepped forward and shook his hand welcoming his kindness and quick change of schedule. Athrun stood back but couldn’t help but feel something as the chairman’s eyes glanced at him. Durandal was a young man, slender in frame with long black hair and eyes that expressed kindness. Athrun understood that he had done a great deal to improve relations with other countries, including the Earth Alliance and was personally responsible for the development of the limb replacement therapy that was soon to be announced. Before becoming chairman he had been a scientist in the medical field and one of the first things he did when becoming chairman was fund this research what he had called: ‘a next step away from the suffering of war.’

“I am very glad to see your country doing so well, envious even of your success.” he said while sitting down on one of the chairs.

Cagalli sat down across him and replied “There is still a lot that needs to be done though.”

“Such as? What could be on the princess’s mind that she so urgently wishes to visit Plant?” Sitting back Durandal’s eyes narrowed and he crossed his legs, “I heard your requests were quite complex, princess.”

Athrun decided those kind eyes were actually quite calculating and cunning.

“I don’t think it is that complex, however after requesting multiple times I still haven’t received any reply from your officials.” she said with fire and looked the man straight in the eye before continuing, “So that puts in question how complex our request is. We as a nation have requested time and time again that you stop putting our assistance: the technology and human resources that were given to you after the war ended to military use!”

Athrun glanced at Cagalli, eager as she sounded he was also shocked by her stupidity. To demand such a thing outright was never a good idea, specially when you were in the lion's den.

 

* * *

 

“Are you done yet? We’re going to be late!” Shinn complained angrily as Yolant paid the cashier.

The girl behind the counter looked at him nervously but Yolant put her at easy using his usual charm. Shinn sighed, annoyed by the behavior of his friend. He adjusted his grip on the 2 heavy duffels and the garment bag which he had slung over his shoulder and made his way outside while checking the time and estimated travel time to the base.

He could make it in 10 minutes if he tried,but he couldn’t just leave Yolant behind, even if he was being a pain in the ass. He was rerouting their route as he stepped outside not paying attention when someone slammed into his side. The 2 bags fell heavily on the ground and his hands grabbed onto the person who had run into him to prevent them from falling.

 

“Are you alright?” he asked as he carefully helped her on her feet, Yolant came up from behind a smile on his face when he saw what Shinn was holding onto.

“Who are you?” she asked. The girl, petite in frame with blonde hair coming down to her shoulders looked up at him, her eyes bright pink but when she scanned his face they turned to anger and she pulled herself out of his grip. Shinn quickly released her and watched as she ran away, her white dress dancing as she quickly left the street. He was used to people giving him strange looks, even being afraid of what he was but Yolant quickly elbowed his side and said “You totally grobed her didn’t you?” It wasn’t even on his mind but he suddenly realized that he had held onto her breasts when he prevented her from falling.

His face turned bright red “Not on purpose!”

“You lucky dog! C’mon we will be late!” Shinn protested but grabbed all his bags nonetheless and followed him.

 

* * *

 

“As successor of the great lord Uzumi Nara Athha, how do you suggest we handle things in the current state of the world?” They walked through the hangars and looking around Athrun was confirmed with what he had feared. Mobile suits, there were various but plenty of mobile suits to create a platoon. If this base held this many suits then what else did Durandal have?

Durandal continued “I think you know the answer to that. We will protect and maintain the ideals of our nation. We will not invade other nations, but we will not allow other nations to invade our own. We will stay out of conflicts of other nations and not choose sides.” he stopped walking.

Athrun’s feelings concerning Durandal had been correct, the kindness in his eyes had been like a trap. Now he was countering Cagalli’s demands with the same ideals her own nation carried, the same words her father used.

“Those are our ideals as well, however without power such words can never hold truth. I am sure you understand that,” Durandal spoke. He was playing a smart game. “after all, isn’t that why Orb also maintains its own military facilities, princess?”

Cagalli knew there was nothing to reply, she knew it sounded hypocritical to have such demands. “Please, stop calling me princess.” she said to him instead.

  
“Sorry, I mean representative Athha,” Durandal continued his way “I can’t help but wonder, what are you so worried about? Pressure from the Atlantic Federation? Fear that Orb will be accused for lending military assistance and thereby breaking treaty rules? Don’t worry, there is no evidence to back that up. The fact however remains that Plant took care of the many refugees from Orb after the war, why not make use of their skill and knowledge? ” he stopped walking and looked at her again with a smile “In a part it is thanks to Orb that we managed to fund and improve limb replacement therapy, for that alone we are in your debt.”

Cagalli inhaled sharply, she hated being put on a pedestal. “There is a second thing I wanted to discuss, this limb replacement therapy?”

Durandal smiled at her. “Of course, after the ceremony has been completed I wanted to show you one of our labs, to show you our progress and to let you meet with some of the people who applied for the thera-” The sound of an alarm caught Durandal’s attention and Athrun as well as Cagalli looked up to see what the commotion was about.  
  
Everywhere around them people were on high alert. When the sound of bending metal caught his ears the first thing Athrun did was pull Cagalli down on the ground.

“Get down!” he yelled as he pushed her down on the pavement further as a loud explosion sounded, screams as well as smoke filled the area.

“Gaia, Abyss and Chaos have been hijacked! Launch the mobile suits!” One of the foreman yelled as he helped Cagalli up her feet. People were running, explosions sounded around them and in front of them a giant mobile suit caused havoc, blasting at the hangers and destroying them.

Athrun could not recognize the model which probably meant.

“A.. Gundam?” Cagalli spoke, recognized it as well. Athrun knew he had to get Cagalli to safety, the scenario looked all too familiar.

They ran along through the debris, the chairman had left the other way. Athrun didn’t care where he was going, it wasn’t safe out in the open. he worried about the colony, they were in the open and being in space made them vulnerable. If anything went wrong with the colony they could easily die. He couldn’t let that happen.

“Why is this happening?!” Cagalli shouted as he pushed her down to avoid being caught in another explosion.

The three mobile suits had split up and were actively destroying each hangar they could find. It prevented other mobile suits from launching as they were either blocked or destroyed. Up ahead however he saw a mostly intact Zaku model. _It will do,_  he thought to himself as he picked  Cagalli up in his hands and ran up to the suit.

Once inside Cagalli eyed him with worry as she held onto the chair. Space inside was limited and all she could do was stand beside him hunched over. He understood her worry. He had told her many times over  that he was not going to pilot ever again. He launched the operating system, his hands knew the procedure by instinct and he quickly went over the many buttons and switches as he gained visual contact. He turned to her and answered “I can’t let you die out here.” That was the only reason he was doing this. He had to protect her even if it meant putting aside his own promises.

The Zaku rose to his feet, the debris covering its body falling off, but as soon as Athrun could navigate one of the three, the black Gundam model spotted him and turned before quickening up its pace to attack. He cursed and Cagalli tightened the grip on the piloting seat. Athrun couldn’t fend off 3 Gundams, that much he knew. He only needed a chance to get away.

  
Turning the shielded shoulder of the plated Zake he countered the charging black Gundam with a tackle. Not something the other pilot had expected because it was hit hard and pushed back by the sheer force, creating imbalance. It struck out shortly after using one of its blades.

Athrun expected that the other pilot was underestimating him, he dodged and countered a second strike. The Gundam however hit hard and when a second green Gundam joined the fray he knew he was getting outnumbered. He narrowly sidestepped an incoming attack from the second green Gundam, losing the left arm of his Zaku in the process.

 _No worries,_  he thought, _as long as I have a shield I can still defend myself_.

He steadied his feet and readied to counterattack when something blasted the green Gundam from behind. They both turned to see where it was coming from when a small jet passed them by and pulling up into the sky.

When Athrun turned his gaze upwards he saw various different looking flying vehicles. The segments connecting and combining themselves to a full Mobile Suit and as it landed hard on the ground in front of them a phase shift armor enabled, washing the mobile suit white and red. The suit’s arms grabbed two long blades seated on its back, swinging them and combining them to a single weapon, ready for combat.


	2. Phase 02: First Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confronted by the three stolen Mobile Suits Athrun finds himself in a pinch when suddenly he receives help from another new Mobile Suit unit

“You’re driving like maniac! I am too young to die! SHINN!” Yolant screamed as Shinn put his foot down a little extra on the gas pedal.

 _It’s your fault for flirting with the cashier after all._ He had recalculated their route to cut off extra time and due to his condition he was also one of the best drivers around much to the complaints of his passengers.

“Shinn look out!”

A cargo truck came to a screeching halt, but he was never going to hit it because he had already taken a sharp turn to the left and was now speeding down the main road to where the warship was docked, passing hangars with mobile suits as well as two Zaku models, white and pinkish red, that were being readied to board the warship Minerva. Other soldiers looked up as he raced passed them, some of them swearing at him as he nearly cut them off but none of them would even dare the things he did and partly their fear exhilarated him even more. He called their it jealousy in a sense.

“Whew, would you look at that!” For once Yolant’s screams had altered to curiosity as further ahead the first glances of the warship Minerva were revealed. As they came closer they could see her as a whole and Shinn was pretty excited about joining her. He had worked hard to get where he was today and today would be his first official day as a pilot on the Minerva as she was about to launch in a couple hours or so.

He braked sudden and sharp, Yolant lost his breath as he came to a stop and cursed at him as he turned off the engine and left the jeep. “Would you calm down! I am human you know!” he yelled. Several bystanders looked up to see what was going on, most of them quickly turned back to their duties. 

Shinn sighed as he walked to the back of the jeep. “So am I you know..” He grabbed the heavy bags as well as his garment bags and started to make his way down the stretcher.

Yolant ran after him, “I didn’t mean it like that! I mean that for people like me there is a bigger chance that I will puke all over the seat if you drive like that!”

They entered the hangar and he put down 2 of the large duffels he was carrying, they fell heavily on the ground and Yolant glanced at him nervously.

“Sorry Yolant, I have somewhere I have to be, can you take care of your own luggage?”

“Y..Yes of course! Thanks for carrying it!"

After settling his belongings in his cabin and switching into his red coated uniform Shinn made his way through the medical decks. Durandal had ordered him to get a final check up before launch and had told him an LR doctor would be on board from time to time to oversee any repairs and tune ups. He didn’t know who the doctor was going to be, after all he had several on and off, but upon opening the door he was greeted with a familiar face.

“Maru? I will have to call you back later, my patient is here. I love you, bye bye!”

“Anya, what are you doing here?”

Anya was a woman mid 30’s, her hair shoulder length and brown and her figure rather timid for a woman her age. She looked quite young though and had bright green eyes that now lit up as he walked inside. He knew her of course, Anya was basically head of LR medical division and had overseen his entire transplant, she had even learned him how to walk again and had cared for him whenever he was in pain. Anya was a busy woman though especially with LR technology being set up around the colonies and perhaps even on Earth one day, so seeing her warmed his artificial heart sort of speak.

“Shinn, how are you doing!” she said as she got up from her seat and embraced him before leading him into the set up laboratory. A special bare chair was set up in the middle, one that could fold back to act as a bed so you could lie down on it and using straps it could even turn around to allow access to his backside. It didn’t have any fancy pillowing but it allowed anyone to access every bit of his body when he sat down on it. Several computers were build into the walls as well as storage drawers and various tools of equipment. He followed Anya and sat down on the edge of the chair while saying, “Was I interrupting something?”

“No no, nothing at all. I was talking to my daughter earlier, she wanted to know about the launch that’s all.” she answered as she grabbed a tablet from her desk before rolling up in front of him on a stool.

“I didn’t know you had a daughter..?”

“Don’t worry, very few here do. If they knew I had children then they would actually be able to guess my age.. We don’t want that now do we?”

He laughed nervously.

“So.. how are you doing?”

“Alright I guess, Durandal mentioned I needed a final check up before the launch ceremony.”

Anya nodded and made several swipes on the tablet, “Gill mentioned that, I can also mention that your new prosthetic is finally finished”

 _New prosthetic?_ He was handed her tablet and on its screen saw an xray of what was to be his new body. In the corner of the screen the model type was tagged as: ZF-AS-06. His fingers slid over the various parts of the body revealing the new functions and stats. He smiled and answered, “It looks amazing! You managed to up muscle capacity without it getting much heavier!”

“You will still be hard to lift Shinn, but perhaps someday in the future we can get the new materials to work. Besides it was time you got a new bodytype, techwise it does the job but it is getting horribly out of date and it was about time you actually looked like a proper young man...” His face reddened at that remark,  _I hadn’t looked at it like that._

“Gill asked me to mention one more thing though, I told him you would hate it but please consider it.”

 _Oh?"_ If Durandal asked Anya to break the ice then it must be something bad.

“Please don’t shoot the messenger either okay?”

He nodded stiffly.

“Gill has some officials coming over from abroad to discuss some matters of political importance but also wants to introduce LR technology to them..”

“He wants me to be a poster boy, is that it?” He could’ve just messaged him if that was all.

“The thing is, these people a-” Before she could finish a red light started flaring and an alarm started going off. Both of them looked up and Anya quickly pushed back to the far back wall where a communication platform was set up. “What is going on?!” she quickly asked, but before she could be answered Shinn was already up his feet and running out the door and down the hallway, his internal comms linking up to the bridge. “Bridge! Status report!”

 

* * *

 

 

From behind him Athrun heard Cagalli’s hand tighten around the edges of his seat, the two of them watched the Mobile Suit land hard onto the concrete in front of them, sending cracks down the road and blocking them off from the attackers. With a swing it combined what would be 2 blades to a single double sided weapon before charging towards the enemy. Athrun had not seen such a model before and thought, _more Zaft secrets it seems_.

The pilot however stood his ground, charging at the stolen black Gaia mobile suit and slamming it out of its way. The other units seemed just as distraught as he was, but that was good because it meant they focused all their attention on the new unit and not on him. That said he felt his hand shake with anticipation. _This is also my fight,_ is what part of him thought, his hands hadn’t forgotten how to use the controls, if any they were as steady as ever before.

“Athrun, perhaps we should?” Cagalli hesitated with uncertainty behind him.

The unknown suit was taking on all other three stolen units and it created a nostalgic sense of deja vu. Back then he had been one of a group who had stolen Mobile Suits from the colony Heliopolis, an event still stuck in his memories. He bit his lip as he traced back what he could remember. Back then their allied troops had been waiting outside the colony in a ship.

“They must have an enemy force outside...” he whispered out.

“What do you mean?” On queue the ground shook heavily, interrupting the ongoing fight. “Athrun?”

“They are attacking from the outside, the harbor perhaps.” He remembered what had happened at Heliopolis, the many deaths of civilians and entire destruction of their homes, including Kira’s. If this would follow a similar trajectory then it wouldn’t end well. _I can’t let that happen!_

By now Zaft forces were employing their own counter attack, but none of the units could get close to the three advanced Gundams. Athrun looked up when all three of them decided to charge at the new model, experience taught him that it would be hard to win a fight when cornered by more than two opponents,  _I need to do something!_ he thought and then shouted when the blade Gundam fell to the ground “Hold on!”

He charged forward when the scythe carrying Abyss went in for the killing blow and slammed his shoulder heavily against the blue unit putting it off balance before throwing his axe at the nearest other he could see, hitting its shield. When Abyss regained its footing and fired a heavy beam he was barely able to block using the Zaku’s shoulder shield. The beam however was stronger than he had anticipated and so the Zaku lost its arm and slammed heavily into a nearby building. In his lust for battle he was about to charge at them again, but a sudden cry of pain broke him out of that focus. He caught Cagalli when she fell forward and turned her over, when he saw the blood running from her head he shouted out with worry, "Cagalli!"

He had no choice but to retreat after that.

 

* * *

 

 

Shinn watched the lone Zaku unit retreat and quickly opened fire to draw the enemy's attention away from them whilst not forgetting that the pilot had saved his ass back there. His hands flew over the controls and his processor was analyzing data as the battle went on. He had never been in an actual battle, he could feel his artificial heart beat loudly and fast as adrenaline ran through his limbs. He could cut it off that strain of exhilaration to take the edge off but it didn’t seem like a good idea, _besides why would I take that away, I feel more alive than before!_

Other units, mostly Ginn’s had gathered on the ground but that Abyss had some sort of beam that made it very hard for them to get close without getting destroyed. When the three units took airborne he found himself at a disadvantage, the Sword Silhouette as they called it was more of a terrain unit and didn’t work well in the open airspace. It seemed that they were trying to flee, probably the outside of the colony.

An alert notification then informed him of 2 units closing in on his position. Rey and Lunamaria were finally joining the fray it seemed. The two of them taking both the Abyss and Chaos units off his back. That certainly helped and now he was left to face that black Gaia unit which at the time was attacking him with increasing recklessness, charging and tackling him using the entire Suit's weight. The hits were heavy but he managed to diverge himself to avoid heavy damage.

“ _Shinn, are you alright?_ ” Rey voiced over radio as his white Zaku model covered him.

“Heh, don’t worry about me!” He said in return and charged back at the black unit, but as he did the enemy unit stopped moving. It wasn't attack nor defending, in fact it wasn't doing anything but hoover midair. “What?” he mouthed quietly while stalling his assault, a bad feeling creeping in the back of his mind.  _What is it doing?_ he wondered but snapped out of it when remembering he was actually in battle. If the enemy wasn't struggling against his attacks then perhaps he could defeat it with ease and actually manage to follow his orders to bring the units back whole. However when he charged the green Chaos covered the still Gaia, blocking his attacks until Gaia regained composure and without hesitation hightailed out of the battle area and away from the fighting. When the other two joined her escape he felt rage and shouted, "You're not getting away!" before chasing after them.

 

* * *

 

 

Athrun had made his way to a nearby settlement and was now looking around for a safe spot for Cagalli so that a doctor could look her over. She stirred in his arms and before he knew it she was sitting up, dry remains of blood stuck to her forehead and in her hair and she groaned with pain.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“I… feel fine..”

 _You’re not and it’s because of me,_  he thought before replying, “I’m sorry. Let me find a safe place to disembark” He looked around but all they could see was destruction. _Minerva is probably the safest place to go to right now_ and set out towards the ship, the Chairman probably thought the same thing. The warship was quite large by standards and looked undamaged and as they made way towards the hangar he could see something flying overhead but as interesting as it looked he put his attention back on the task he had given himself; protect Cagalli and keep her safe.

The crew in the hangar were being busy and he kneeled the unit down in one of the marked zones, nearby a custom colored Zaku. When he, together with Cagalli lowered down from the cockpit to the ground using the transport cable he found himself staring at the barrel of a gun held by a female red coat, probably one of the ship’s pilots.

“You two, don’t move!” she yelled and he pushed Cagalli behind him when a second voice sounded through the speakers, “ _Make ready for take off!_ ” Quickly the remaining crew scattered but the brightly colored girl in front of him hadn’t moved, “Identify yourselves! You’re not part of our forces so what are you doing in that machine!”

Cagalli tried to step forward, her hand on his shoulder as she attempted to calm him down, but before she could speak out his name he spoke with confidence and authoraty, “Lower your weapon, this is lady Cagalli Yula Athha, chief representative of the Orb Union and I am her attendant Alex Dino,” The hostility faded slightly. “we got caught up in the fighting while meeting with Chairman Durandal and couldn’t escape. We had no choice but to borrow this unit to defend ourselves.” The girl in front of him stared at Cagalli and lowered her weapon now completely. “The representative was injured during the fighting, I would like to request medical assistance. I also presume the Chairman boarded this ship, I want to see him.”

“Of course! I will escort you to the medical deck, the ship is taking off soon as part of the evacuation, but it is the safest place to be at right now.”

Together with two guards she escorted them down to the elevator and up onto the decks. Once in the hallway though the speaker voice announced another message, “ _The Minerva is taking off. Announcing Condition Red!_ ” They both knew what that meant. “ _Announcing Condition Red, all pilots report to mission briefing!_ ”

“Is this ship taking off for battle?!” he snapped at the red coat and Cagalli pulled on his sleeve in worry, “Athrun..”

She quickly realized her mistake when the red coat turned to them and repeated her words, "Athrun?" The red coat stared at him for a moment, but he had nothing to say, realizing this she turned to look at Cagalli who remained as quiet as he was.

However the cat was out of the bag and there was little he could do to put it back in.

 

 


	3. Phase 03: Warning Shots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle continues. Meanwhile Athrun and Cagalli board Minerva as she makes ready for take off.

Rey had given him the opportunity to switch from Sword Silhouette to Force Silhouette which gave him more aerial control and maneuvering capabilities. He smiled as he thought of what the enemy would be thinking seeing him switch gear like that.  
  
“Rey, they are trying to blast out of the colony!” he said as in the distance one of the enemy units fired repeatedly to the outer walls of the colony, the walls held for now but through repeated assault it was showing signs of collapse, if it gave way then there would be a breach in the colony. _We have to catch them before they can do that!_ he thought with a frown as he tried to establish radio contact with Minerva so he could figure out what was going on outside. If the enemy managed to breach the outer walls then he'd like to know what was going on outside, specially since they were again outnumbered with Lunamaria’s unit disabled due to previous damages.

He was aware of his nerves, this was his first actual battle after all and although they were kept in check, mostly because Rey was by his side, it didn't slow down his thirst on the battlefield. While dodging attacks from the other enemies the third finally managed to breach the outer walls. It gave way with a loud rumbling noise before creating a vacuum which sucked through anything caught in its force to open space. The hole was large enough for the Mobile Suits to slip through and one by one they passed through out of their reach.

He wasn't about to give up the fight and ignored Rey's protests as he followed them through the hole to the outside. However outside everything seemed calm and quiet without sign of the enemy, his visual scanners picked up nothing in particular until he saw an unknown battleship off in the distance, with that discovery he assumed the stolen units were using it as a rendezvous point however when he made ready to charge after them a proximity alarm flared and without hesitation he pulled on the controls, dodging a surprise attack. With that a fourth enemy had appeared and he found himself confronted by someone using Mobile Armor, an aerial unit that used smaller pod units to scatter and attack in formation.

 _Damned!_ he cursed at the realization that they never had much training fighting against Mobile Armor and in specific fighting multiple pods. He found himself unable to move forward with his mission as he remained stuck dodging and countering fire that came in from every side. Rey joined him and much to his amazement managed to stand his own without the same troubles he was having in dealing with this new enemy, he broke the pod's formation of attack easily and even managed to destroy several of them, forcing the enemy to back down some. When he had time to catch a quick breather Rey lectured him, “ _What are you doing! You’re being a sitting duck! This isn’t like the training!_ ”

Shinn was impressed with Rey's ability to adept and watched him clash with the Mobile Armor, their movements were fast and it was hard to keep up with them, if he didn't pay attention then he would easily be left behind. However whenever he tried to involve himself in their battle he was forced to back down by the sheer speed of the pods that would focus their fire on him. They managed to nick his Suit now and then and even damage the Phase Shift Armor coating that protected him from most attacks. It made him nervous that these small, fast pods could easily turn his Mobile Suit to scrap if he didn't pay attention.

An incoming message informed him that battleship Minerva had also left the colony, this was to be expected. He did however look up in surprise when the Mobile Armor took off and abandoned his previous fight. This left himself and Rey without an enemy to fight and with that realization came that they had failed in bringing back the other three units. He cursed at his lack of skill.

A sudden brightness stuck out in the dark and in the distance three flares shone above the ship Minerva, signaling all its units to retreat back to the hangar. _Why?!_ he thought and without thinking shouted out, "But, the battle isn't over yet!"

"It's an order, Shinn." Rey answered calmly as he made way back to the hangar.

Shinn sighed heavily and evened out his breathing to try and calm himself. _I am getting too worked up_ , he thought to himself as he made his way back, but even though he tried to calm himself he found that he was unable to when Minerva let out a sudden barrage of missiles aimed at the enemy vessel. It confirmed that the fighting wouldn't stop any time soon and once in the landing bay he contacted Meyrin on the bridge who immidiatly asked, “ _Shinn can you hear me?_ ”

He leaned back a little more into his seat, pressing his back against the leather to get a little more relaxed and comfortable in order to rid himself off the stress and strain he was feeling on his artificial muscles as he answered, "I can hear you loud and clear, Meyrin."

_"Captain says you have to hurry inside."_

Most likely they were going to chase down that unknown ship, it would be better to keep the comm links clear if that was the case.

"Will do, Shinn over and out." He walked the Suit through the hangar and placed it in the assigned area where engineers such as Yolant would pick up on repairs. Once at a standstill he took a moment and pressed his hand over his chest. Through the fabric of the suit he could feel the loud beating of his artificial heart resonating in remaining adrenaline and he sighed again with closed eyes. The battle still wasn’t over and it probably wouldn’t be long till they'd be send out again, perhaps it was better not to hesitate and waste time since they had to brief the captain on what was happening.

He exited the cockpit, pushing himself down using the lack of gravity and waved at both Yolant and Vino as he passed them. He noticed the green armless Zaku standing a little further off, _that’s the same unit as before._ This meant the pilot was still around as well and he wondered who he could be. He reached back to remove his helmet when suddenly the ship shook heavily, he ducked behind one of the pillars and people cried as untied materials flew through the air and when the shaking seemed to halt he pushed himself off the wall using his feet to quickly soar back to Impulse while cursing the bad timing. _Definently not over yet!_ he thought as he grabbed hold on one of the levers outside the cockpit and pulled himself back in. The debris was creating havoc on the floor where many engineers were busy getting the materials back down and a small symbol popped up in his vision, signaling an incoming comm message.

“ _Shinn, I am heading to the bridge to brief the captain.”_ Rey mentioned and Shinn looked from the cockpit's entry to find him. He found Rey on one of the phones in the back walls and frowned when he noticed he wasn't even wearing a piloting suit yet.

“I am staying here on standby, it looks like we will be needing it. You should switch to your space suit, your uniform is unsuitable for outer space!” he answered.

Rey stayed quiet, but then answered briefly, _"Understood.”_

 

* * *

 

Not a single mention was made on the previous name slip and Athrun was glad about it for now. Cagalli remained just as quiet as he was, but he couldn't help the continuous glances he received from the red coat that escorted them. He could sense her curiosity and even though he wasn't detecting signs of disgust or disapproval he remained silenced. He kept his eyes on Cagalli and noticed the guilt she was feeling, for once he was glad she wasn't saying anything and thought, _better not to say anything if you make mistakes like that._

He couldn't stay angry at her, because now wasn't the time and place to have such a discussion. When they entered what seemed to be the medical bay they were greeted by a lady who proceeded to look Cagalli over. Cagalli, who was sitting on a stool flinched as the lady cleaned her cut and proceeded to wrap bandages around her head while saying, “It isn’t anything severe, perhaps a small concussion but I recommend you not to do any piloting in this condition.”

Athrun was relieved by the news and watched the female doctor tie up with bandages with gentle soft gestures. The ship shook every now and then, but it didn't interrupt her work and she remained precise. Athrun could see that she was even smiling and frowned. _She doesn't seem bothered by what is happening at all._

“And you? You’re not injured as well, are you?” she asked him when she was finished, her bright green eyes scanning him over from head to toe.

He shook his head. “No, I am fine.” And helped Cagalli stand while turning back to their guard.

“The Chairman is on the bridge, you can rest in the officer's cabin while I inform him.” she quickly answered as if reading his mind.

They were about to leave when suddenly the ship's intercom came to life and a male voice echoed through the halls, “ _Attention all hands! Minerva will commence pursuit of Bogey One. Due to the sudden change of circumstance this has become our maiden voyage and the ship will continue on this very important mission. This is your opportunity to show what progress you all have made during the daily training sessions! Announcing condition yellow!_ ”

He hadn’t expected that and it meant they would be stuck on this ship for a much longer time. Perhaps even be involved in some of the fighting. He glanced at Cagalli who looked back at him in worry. The red coat hurried them along, mentioning that she had to be on standby in case the conditioning switched from yellow to red and quietly they followed her to what was the officer's chamber. The room was large for cadet standards and not shared with anyone else. Like the rest of the ship it was fully fixed to the metal flooring and walls with in one corner and large chair and desk with system computer, the other end had a bed and sitting area for meetings.

The red coat left them shortly after to inform the captain and Chairman, once gone Cagalli turned to him."This is turning into a big mess Athrun! What should we do?!"

He didn't have any answers for that question. Cagalli was trying her hardest to unite the different factions and the only conclusion he could make was that this was going to set back a lot of the negotiations and trust she had been working on for so long. It was going to raise flags for sure, the military spending and expansion of Zaft using Orb's spending, the theft of three Mobile Suits by an unknown faction and the chase in which Cagalli was now indirectly involved. It wouldn't just raise flags with the other factions but it would also affect the council of Orb and the other families that still disliked her being in charge. He couldn't find the right words to assure her.

“Also… Athrun? I want to apologize..” Cagalli then said with a sense of hesitation and he looked up with surprise.

"For what?" He noticed Cagalli was avoiding eye contact, it was something she did whenever she felt uncomfortable and when she was admitting guilt in shame.

With a low voice she answered, "You said you didn't want to pilot a Mobile Suit ever again and now I-" He cut her off.

"I chose to pilot on my own accord, Cagalli! It wasn't about having a choice, I had to protect you!"

Upon hearing these words she finally looked up at him and Athrun saw tears in her eyes. "But! I can't help but feel that you are being forced into this.. again.. by me! Just when you wanted to get out!" she yelled and Athrun stepped forward embracing her, her head leaned against his shoulder and with his hands he rubbed gentle circles over her shoulders to try and calm down her emotional distress.

“After all that destruction and all that fighting I am not letting anyone endanger my friends. Specially one who fights for peace, Cagalli.” he said while one hand ran through her hair, combing it backwards out of her face. He wasn't going to let anyone hurt Cagalli, he admired her too much to see anything bad happen to her when she still had so much to learn. 

 

* * *

 

Moments later Chairman Durandal arrived escorted by Minerva's Captain, a woman called Talia Gladys. They quickly went through the formalities of apologizing and asked if she was doing alright and if she needed anything, if so the Chairman would offer her any assistance she required. Both Cagalli and Durandal sat across another whereas Captain Talia Gladys and himself stood by on the side listening and answering any questions asked.

The Chairman was explaining his reasons for chasing the unknown enemy ship, dubbed as Bogey One when Cagalli bluntly asked, “Do you know anything about the enemy unit?”

“We don’t know much about the enemy ship, that’s all the more reason for us to regain control of the situation as soon as possible before anything bad can happen.”

Cagalli nodded in agreement, “I understand. We must do everything we can to avoid unsettling the current fragile state of affairs.”

Pleased the Chairman expressed his thanks and glanced at him strangely from the corner of his eyes before getting to his feet. “If you’d like, I would give you a tour around our ship while there is still time.” he said much to the dislike of the Captain. She tried to protest but was easily swayed by Durandal's gentle words.

Captain Gladys left them shortly after and they were then introduced by another red coat, the second out of the available three on this ship. "I believe you have met Lunamaria Hawke, third place ace pilot who graduated this year. This here is Rey Za Burrel, top of his class."

"It's an honor, Representative." he stoically said while saluting.

Together they walked over the various decks on board the ship and Durandal explaining along the way how the ship was set up. It wasn't much of a surprise to Athrun since he was used to living on a battleship as former military. In a sense it felt like he was still living here, a strange nostalgic feeling which wasn't bad or anything, in fact it made him feel at ease.

"Alex, wasn't it?" the chairman eventually asked as he turned to him.

"Yes?"

"I can't help but wonder, did you read that magazine I had send you?"

He thought for a moment and then remembered, “The one about Limb Replacement Therapy?”

Upon hearing this Durandal smiled and continued, “I want to apologize for not being able to take you to one of the actual clinics, I fear that the one we had set up was back on the colony,” They exited the elevator and stopped near a door, “It is something I firmly believe in and I wanted to show you how much it can do for people. Rey, you may wait outside” The blonde red coat nodded and turned to stand next to the door.

They entered what seemed to be a small medical quarters, an open space with some floor fixed chairs and stools with in the back a strange looking mechanical chair that didn't seem too comfortable. On the right side Athrun could hear someone typing on a keyboard, the tapping stopped when they walked inside and as this person got to her feet he found himself faced with the same doctor that had had helped them earlier.

“Chairman, I see you have brought visitors. I am glad to see you doing well Representative.” she said and gave Cagalli a light bow.

“May I present to you, head of Zaft's Limb Replacement Therapy division and chief engineer, Anya Lesgaft.” Durandal spoke and Anya blushed what seemed embarrassment. Athrun hadn't pictured her to be the head of the program and had read an interview from the unpublished magazine from earlier. Impressed he greeted her in return.

The articles of the magazine had described how the project had been funded by Durandal before he was Chairman and how he together with Miss Lesgaft they set up a system that enabled amputees as well as others to benefit from custom created limbs that could replace body parts and perhaps someday even organs. 

“A pleasure to meet you, Representative. This might be a small presentation but it is the best I have at the moment.” She made several swipes on her tablet before handing it to Cagalli, “It was mine and Durandal’s mission to ease some of the pain after the tragedies of the first war. As you can see I managed to set up a system that allows people who have lost an extend of their abilities to regain them and to try and pick up the lives they once had.” The pictures were clear enough and Athrun was pretty impressed with what he saw on them. People who had lost their legs and who were now dancing wearing prosthetics that actually looked like a normal limb, children playing outside who had lost arms or hands and even artificial eyes for someone who seemed to have been blind for his entire life. 

He couldn't help but ask, “These.. artificial pieces, they look different on some of them? How did you manage to connect it to the nervous system? Can they actually feel with these?”

The Chairman smiled at his sudden curiosity and Anya rolled back on her crutch to one of the computers to look something up before answering, “The older models were more mechanical and were less flexible, but are easier to adjust to the length a patient specially when still growing. They are also easier as a first transplant to learn mobility with.

"The newer models attach themselves to artificial bones we create for the body based on 3D scans and the nerves spread out like a network opening and creating new connections to the existing nervous system using nano technology, even going as far as into the brain itself.

"The process has advanced throughout the months of research and connecting to the existing nerve system is extremely painful the first time around, but we managed to smooth out the process so that it doesn't require a direct sense of feeling, instead we can now gradually build up the senses which makes it a lot easier for younger patients.”

 “You mean children?” Cagalli finally asked and looked up from the tablet, “You have been using this on children?”

Anya turned around on her stool and looked at her, but it was the Chairman who answered, “Only those with given permission of course..”

“Then who decided this for them? Their parents? Has it been properly tested? Is it safe?” she added with sudden flare of anger, Athrun tried to calm her down but was unable to.

Meanwhile Anya's smile had vanished and with a tone of seriousness said, “I understand your concerns, Representative but all these children have lost something and are still missing out on a great portion in their life-”

“But where does it end? Surely it sounds like a miracle, in a sense I would like it to be as true as the pictures but after using Orb's funding to expand Zaft's military, followed by the theft of three unregistered Mobile Suits and another fourth unknown unit on board the Minerva I cannot help but feel uneasy about this. How far are you going on this project? What are you not telling us?”

Anya glanced at the Chairman nervously. “Well about that..?” she started and Durandal sighed. Looking between the two he realized Cagalli was onto something, something they were hiding from them.

Anya continued while typing away on her computer, “I talked to him earlier, but with the current situation it doesn’t seem like the best idea to bring him in, Chairman.”

The main wall built monitor lit up showing an xray of what seemed to be a human body, Athrun stared at it and only then realized that it wasn't as human as it seemed. It seemed to be artificial? Beside him Cagalli nearly dropped the tablet she was holding and shouted, “What? What is that?”

Athrun stepped up to study the schematic up close. “That’s an entire body?! It.. It only has a brain?” he exclaimed. He could see the brain situated inside the skull much like a normal human-being's, the body itself also carried organs which were labeled as artificial. Its right arm was also different from the rest of the body.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Cagalli demanded.

“What you have here is the only ever made full body transition,” Anya answered quietly as she took the tablet from Cagalli’s hand, making several swipes before handing it back to her. “he is a boy who came here as a refugee from Orb during the war, Shinn Asuka.”

Cagalli looked at the picture in front of her a youth with raven hair and bright red eyes, followed by several other pictures of what she assumed to be walking therapy. The body back then was simpler and didn't look much like the xray scan from earlier, instead it was more robotic with some sections without skin and just bones, wires and what looked like white muscle mass all hooked up to various computers. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

“Shinn Asuka came in as a refugee during the war. He volunteered to undergo the transition and is quite the fighter as you have probably seen for yourself on the battlefield.” Durandal added and Athrun who had been looking at the pictures on the main screen turned to the Chairman realizing, “You mean he’s that pilot?!”

Durandal nodded, “He is.. As he states so himself it is his duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves. He’s a formidable fighter.”

"Why did he decide to undertake the procedure?! Why did you allow him to if he's a kid!" Cagalli interrupted and Athrun wondered the same thing. Shinn Asuka wasn't legally an adult yet, but perhaps there was more to the story than met the eye.

“It isn't my place to tell, Representative. I can assure you I wouldn't have done it if the situation wasn't as grave as it was.” Anya answered, "Mr. Dino?" Athrun turned to her and noticed the tablet she was holding out to him. He took it from her confused as to what he should do with it, but she continued with a wink, “Seeing as you seem to be interested, perhaps you would like to read through the research? It would be great to have a second opinion after all.”

Even with the shocking discovery that LR Technology had gone so far that they had created an almost fully artificial body he felt curious enough to accept this request. He had dabbled in robotics before creating somewhat simple things compared to what was happening here but being allowed to learn about it peaked his interests enough that he was willing to get into it. “Thank you, doctor” he answered and tucked the tabled under his arm.

After that Durandal ushered them, "Perhaps it is a good idea to continue our tour. We still have a long way to go after all.”

 

* * *

 

He could feel that Cagalli's tension during the remainder of the tour. As for himself he wasn't paying much attention because he continuously felt that tablet underneath arm. He looked at Cagalli as they walked and understood she had questions, though hers were more emotionally invested than his own. He respected that of Cagalli, however sometimes it felt she invested too much emotion and too little self control. His mind drew to the young teen from earlier, Shinn. He wondered about who the teen was, how he came to be and how he was living with the altercations he had, what was different about it? How did he think about it? But most importantly, how did his body function? The tablet probably had some answers, but would just be superficial in its answers. He expected that Durandal wouldn't allow all the information to become public after all. With the problems of Coordinators vs Naturals, modifications vs natural genes, Durandal was throwing mechanical engineering in the mix as well. He agreed with Cagalli on those terms. Where would it end, and how would the world respond to it?

When they arrived at the Mobile Suit Deck with the mention that the ship wasn’t even at max capacity Athrun couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the amount of open space and couldn’t help but notice the repairs they were carrying out on the green Zaku he had piloted earlier, Durandal seemed to notice, “I’ve taken you’ve already met the Z GMF-1000’s Zaku units.”

Athrun didn't answer him but looked at what else they had in the hangar. His eyes fell on what seemed to be a multi-story elevator carrying lose Mobile Suit segments. _Those belong to the assembly unit, that must be Shinn Asuka’s unit._

Following his gaze Durandal answered, “That is the Impulse unit. It utilizes a launch system part of Minerva’s main features. I believe you’ve seen this unit earlier, right?” Athrun nodded in agreement.

“According to scientists this is the newest, highly efficient mobile suit system. You’ve read about the pilot earlier, but I take that the Princess doesn’t care much about Mobile Suits.” He turned to Cagalli who looked at him with a sour face.

 “You seem awfully happy to talk about it though.” she rudely answered back.

“It isn’t joy I am trying to portray here. I am simply proud of everyone’s hard and earnest work. To come this far and to gain so much after the war is not an easy task.”

Cagalli sighed and said, “You’re talking about power. You said that power is necessary because there will always be conflict, right Chairman?”

“That is correct-”

She cut off his sentence continued louder as before, “Then how do you explain what happened earlier! The damage caused to your nation are a result of those three new Mobile Suits!” Cagalli was raising her voice and the engineers in the hangar turned to her, Athrun tried his best calm her down but she wouldn't listen.

Unswayed by her tone Durandal answered, “So you’re saying that in order to prevent conflict we should remain without power?”

“Why is that power necessary in the first place?! Specially now?! As a nation we made a pledge not to repeat the tragedies of the past!”

“Please consider the following, Princess-” But a sudden voice interrupted him.

“See there! More of that idealistic crap the Athha’s are so famous for!” Both parties stopped talking and looked down from the railing to the main floor of the hangar.

Below them stood a young man with raven hair, a red coat or otherwise known as ace pilot. His shoulders hunched in anger and his back turned towards them, but it wasn’t mistaken he was the person who said it. The other people around him were backing away from him as if afraid of him.

“Shinn..” Athrun heard someone say from his side and he quickly glanced back at the youth. _So this is Shinn?_ The guy previously addressed to as Rey crossed the balcony and made his way down, probably to get him back in line, the others surely didn’t look like they dared, but saying things like that in the presence of the Chairman and Representative of another nation was bound to military punishment. But when the alarms went off and Condition Red was announced Shinn pushed Rey's hand off his shoulder and escaped to his Mobile Suit.

“I’m very sorry, Chairman. He will be punished for his actions later!” Rey said in salute while looking up at them before quickly making his way for his duties, leaving the three of them alone.

“I am very sorry Princess. I didn’t expect him to respond like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time~


	4. Phase 04: Stardust Battlefield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinn and Lunamaria chase Bogey One's signal through a debris field. Meanwhile Minerva is under attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Concerning the content of this chapter I made some small changes in the previous chapter concerning how much Athrun and Cagalli know about Shinn's origin from Orb. It isn't anything major or new but it made their conversation or rather their conflict a bit better to motivate. Also added some more thoughts for Athrun afterward.
> 
> It has been ages since I saw the show, I am picking this up as I write one episode at a time so sometimes I miss these small things. I will be happy when I get through the basic starting part and can get on writing more and more of my own plot.
> 
> I had some time to kill so don't expect updates with a release schedule , enjoy reading though~

He had always thought of himself as a person of structure and planning and he believed that if you followed orders that everything would be alright. But after the madness of his father, the deaths and the losses he found himself without any of the previous securities, and so after the war ended Athrun didn’t know what to do anymore. He had gone to trial for his actions during the war, for his 'betrayal' and with that he had thrown away everything he previously had in order to now become what he wasn’t.

Right now he wasn’t the Mobile Suit ace pilot, admired by many or the traitor and son of a mad man willing to slaughter millions. If Cagalli had not been there he wouldn’t have been alive either, he would have sacrificed himself that time to destroy Genesis, to bury himself under not just his own errors but the sins of his father as well.

“ _Don’t run away, Athrun!_ ” she had yelled at him in that moment and it was something he kept remembering when everything was over and done with. It was something that warmed his heart and made him love Cagalli even more. Athrun Zala was someone admired and hated by many, his name cause enough to never be able to achieve that same shine of goodness Cagalli brought to those around her. It was simply something he wasn't allowed to because of the feelings the name 'Zala' invoked. He had heard them cry out traitor and deserter, but whenever it bothered him he remembered Cagalli's words not to run away from what was being said and therefore stuck to her side. If he wasn't allowed to change the world and make it a better place then he would support those who did and protect them instead.

This is how he had created a new path for himself and how he had created the person called Alex Dino. Alex Dino wasn’t a pilot, he wasn’t military and most importantly he wasn’t a traitor or murderer, instead he was something unknown, a man who stood next to Cagalli and who protected her and supported her whenever her hope flustered. He wasn’t a man who destroyed but one who rebuild without question. A man who helped those that could change the world for the better part without being questioned.

“I wonder what that ship’s real name is?”

It wasn’t until recent that he started to doubt the dreams of Alex Dino.

“If a name is an indicator for something's existence,” Durandal spoke. “then what would it mean if the name wasn’t real?” He turned his chair to face Athrun, like a lion cornering his prey, setting his calculating golden eyes on him. Even the darkness that shrouded the bridge could not hide Athrun and all remained dead silent. He couldn't help but clutch at the armrests as Durandal continued, “Could it mean that its existence isn’t real either, Alex.. Or should I say Athrun Zala?”

In the background orders were being barked left and right as the chase for Bogey One continued but Athrun himself was unable to reply to what was being said. He could feel the eyes of the other crew members on him and it hardly felt like a proper place to have this kind of conversation which made it even harder for him to reply with the right words. What was Durandal going to say? Was he going to be arrested? Would they bring up his father like many had done so before?

“Chairman.. That is-” Cagalli tried to explain, but Durandal quickly responded in a friendly tone, “Don’t worry Representative. I can understand that choice after all that has happened and I also understand the appraisals taken against him and the others by former Chairwoman Canaver, ”It didn't bring Athrun much relief though. “it’s just," He looked back at Athrun, "if I talk to you then I would rather talk to the real you, Athrun. That is all.”

 

* * *

 

Shinn knew he was in the wrong when letting his emotions run his mouth in the presence of Durandal specially when he was acting out as Chairman. Gil was one of the first people he met after waking up, one of the first that treated him as a normal human being instead of a science project and surely he understood why people took notes and why he was being poked or wired up, but to hear someone ask him what he wanted to do, instead of being ordered around, was something he wouldn’t easily forget. Later he found out that Gil was one of the main investors of L.R. technology and who actually knew a great deal about robotics himself. He wasn’t a fighter, he had admitted that to him. When he told Shinn he wanted to become Chairman it made Shinn all the more determined to help bring his idealistic dreams to reality and to protect them. Now with 3 Mobile Suits stolen, a colony badly damaged and taking chase after an unknown enemy he felt like he was actually doing something that made up for all the things Gil, as well as Anya, had done for him. And so even though he blew up emotionally in front of Gil being the Chairman, he would never not follow his orders or complain about them.

“ _My record in space debris battles isn’t all that great.._ ” Lunamaria complained over the radio.

Currently he was inside the assembled Blast Impulse chasing the traces of Bogey One together with Lunamaria and several others. They were chasing the enemy vessel through the belt of space debris that surrounded Earth’s orbit.

“The enemy has probably noticed us by now. Stay alert.” He answered firmly and Lunamaria quickly replied, _“I know! You’re beginning to sound like Rey, it’s throwing me off!_ ”

He scanned around the area, Impulse was still picking up on Bogey’s signal which was coming from somewhere ahead. He scanned over the monitors trying to find anything that identified the vessel using the recognition  mechanisms from his eyes. His next body transplant would be able to do things a lot better, but this was what he had to work with for now. The debris, consisting of meteor pieces, remainders of old satellites and pieces of junk from deserted colonies made it hard to navigate and pick up readings but also made for a good place to lay an ambush. Shinn couldn’t help but feel uneasy as he closed in on Bogey One’s signal.

His uneasiness was granted when the previously stolen Mobile Suits engaged them, an alarm flaring at his right indicating that they were being attacked. The group he was with split up, one of them getting caught in the crossfire and blowing up.

 _“Shawn!”_ Lunamaria yelled as they scrambled through the debris finding cover.

“Scatter and fight them separately!” he ordered before engaging with Chaos’s mobile weapon pods. “Damned! They were waiting for us!” and right then Bogey One’s signal vanished off the radar, confirming what his guts were telling him.

He didn’t have time to think out a plan, all he could do for now was dodge and use the debris for cover, flying behind it to avoid incoming fire. It served little purpose though and only caused more motion in the pieces that were breaking up, creating more that got in his way. He could still hear Lunamaria on their frequency and kept a close watch on her signal, before he realized it they had lost another fighter.

 _“Dale! ”_ Lunamaria cried, but Dale had stood no chance against Abyss’s heavy blasters. “ _We’re already down by two!_ ”

In the midst of it all he received an incoming message from Minerva, the debris was messing up their long range comms and so direct radio contact was impossible. The message was thus send out in text and he had to be quick about reading the incoming orders while dodging attacks.

_‘Withdraw all units immediately, “Minerva” was damaged by surprise attack’_

Lunamaria contacted him right after, _“They attacked the Minerva, does that mean we walked into a trap? ”_

“It seems so, but there’s no way we can make it back right now!” he answered and was using the debris as a platform to stand on while trying to return fire, Chaos's pods however proved to be too fast and left him no time to charge the Blaster’s cannons. _We have to get back! Damned!_ he cursed, grouping up again with Lunamaria to try and get back to Minerva.

_“She’ll sink if we don’t get back!”_

“I know that, damned!” He yelled back, but whenever they advanced the trio Mobile Suits would cut them off and force them to back up again, slowing them down using brute force. Frustrated he fired the long range beam cannons, blowing up a large portion of the debris and distracting the enemy while he, with Lunamaria tried to make their way back to the Minerva.

The distraction was short lasted though, not before long Luna had to break away from him when Gaia gave chase. The doglike form barging through the glass panels, breaking them with little effort into smaller chunks as if ripping through paper. Lunamaria turned and fired back using the Zaku’s Orthon long range rifle but the beams were easily dodged and she was forced to retreat even further.

Meanwhile Shinn was being chased by both Chaos and Abyss, the two teamed up to hunt him down and made it hard for him to return fire. One attacked from a distance while the other, Abyss, tried to get in close with what seemed to be a scythe of sort. Every time he tried engage the other was ready to attack him from the other side and so he was forced to use the makeshift hallways of what had previously been a colony, abandoned and now part of the giant stream of debris that circled the planet.

“I can’t figure out their location!” he told Luna. The debris gave him good cover and hid their own signals, but it also blocked their ability to detect the enemy.

“ _Shinn!_ ” with a cry Lunamaria’s Zaku crashed through the glass windows ahead, sliding to a stop against the side wall of the tunnel he was in. The riffle she carried was damaged by the crash and he quickly turned, aiming Impulse’s blasters to what could be chasing her and fired, fending off a charging Gaia, who in turn was forced to keep its distance.

 

* * *

 

On the other side, just outside the debris field Minerva wasn’t doing much better. The ship was now being chased through an asteroid field, being attacked by more than just Bogey One and was given no chance to send out Mobile Suits of their own to defend itself

“The drifting rocks are getting in our way! Our shots can’t reach the enemy!”

They literally were sitting ducks and if Athrun hadn't noticed and spoken out about it the situation would have been a lot worse. Perhaps it wasn't all that Alex Dino-like to do so, but Athrun didn't mean for them to die in outer space like that and it frustrated him that he couldn’t go out there and fight to deal with the situation. Cagalli stared at him with worry as Gladys barked orders left and right. He wasn’t as reserved as he should be, Alex wouldn’t get involved with tactics and warships fighting one another, but as the ship rooked back and forth more and more by the hits they received Athrun could feel the layers of Alex Dino's self preservation peel off and with that came a feeling of adrenaline, heightened senses and emotion which he recognized from when he was out there himself fighting, years ago. He looked at Cagalli from the corner of his eyes. _Strange how it still feels the same_ , he noted as he listened and watched those around him.

“Incoming missiles! Six!”

Athrun looked down, seeing the radar near the captain’s chair.

“Counter attack!” The Captain answered. On the radar six thick arrows were running a path towards their ship, none of them however seemed to be on target, _They are not being aimed at us!_ He took a sharp inhale when he realized what their target would be if they missed the ship and couldn’t stop himself from shouting out, “This is bad! Get the ship away from the asteroid!”

Before anyone could act, the first of the missiles slammed into the rocky terrain of the asteroid they were hugging, causing a chain reaction that caused the ship to be attacked from both sides. One coming from the actual enemies, the other coming from all the flying shrapnel set into motion from the missile impact that now shelled the other side, causing heavy damage to Minerva's starboard side.

“Get us out of here! Raise bow by fifteen!” The Captain ordered and the ship picked up speed, however..

“Second wave underway!”

“Decelerate by twenty!” The ship’s attempt to slow down was entirely futile as a second wave of missiles broke apart the asteroid and showered the ship’s already damaged plating with more debris.

“Thrusters damaged!” came another reply and this meant the ship could no longer adjust its speed and had lost some of its maneuverability. Things that were crucial in a situation like this, “Number four and six damaged! Captain we’re trapped!”

“Incoming enemy units! Mobile Armor and Mobile Suits approaching!” He wasn't the only one who was getting nervous now.

Gladys in the meantime contacted the hangar, “Aves, send out Rey! Let him walk out if you have to! Hurry!” He wondered if he could do anything as Alex. “Where are Shinn and the others?!”

“Impulse and Zaku are still engaging Chaos, Gaia and Abyss!” Was there anything Alex could do? As Alex he couldn't just go out there to fight. Alex couldn’t pilot, Athrun had sworn he wouldn’t do so ever again and through Alex he could easily manage that urge. However many layers of Alex he was losing, setting foot inside a cockpit would undo that final one. But if he didn’t, what would happen? How much would he lose? What would happen to Cagalli? He couldn’t just head out there and pilot the Zaku, there had to be other options. There had to be a better way to solve this conflict.

“Aren’t there more Mobile Suits on this ship?” the chairman asked.

“We have no pilots” Gladys quickly answered Athrun froze in his seat. Cagalli looked at him as if knowing the conflict that was going on inside of him.

What should he do? Should he head out in the Zaku? What else could he think of? They could die out here! Shinn and the others were not going to be in time and they were sitting ducks with the asteroid at their side and would be too vulnerable if they moved away from it. He pondered while looking at the radar. There was no way to get a clear shot with the debris and no way to escape. Unless!

“How many of the thrusters are still functioning on starboard?!”

Captain Gladys turned in her seat and looked at him strangely, with an approving nod from the Chairman she answered, “Six, But we’ll be target practice if we head out there right now!”

“Fire everything on the starboard side, against the asteroid!” he continued and several heads turned upon hearing this strategy, “We’ll use the force of the explosion to push the hull, together with the rocks surrounding us.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Think of the damage that will cause to the hull!” the Deputy Captain shouted out.

“The current priority is getting us out of this situation, if we stay here we’ll be nothing but a target!” He wasn’t sure if they would see it from his perspective and there was nothing more for him to add. It was all he could do.

The Chairman seemed to have faith in what he said though and easily persuaded Captain Talia Gladys by telling her that it was worth a chance given the severity of their current position.

“Okay, let’s give it a try.”

Her Deputy Captain still couldn’t agree with the idea and tried to protest against it, but even he knew that it was unwise to doubt the Captain's orders. Gladys simply told him, ”We’ll talk about this later, Arthur. Prepare to fire all starboard weapons! Set starboard thrusters to maximum and engage them when we fire. Match the timing!”

Without doubt Arthur turned back to his controls and continued, “Preparing to fire all starboard weapons. Engaging starboard thrusters on signal!"

It was the only chance they had.

“Bogey One, distance 300!” The timing had to be just right. “Distance 250!... 200!... 150!”

“All hands, brace for impact! Starboard thrusters to maximum!” the Captain shouted, followed by the Captain Deputy, “All starboard cannons, fire!”

With that the weaponry on the starboard side fired against the close aligned asteroid much to the surprise of their enemy. The blast was big enough to rook the entire ship just as he had predicted and it set in motion such a force that it moved the entire ship away from the asteroid. The giant rock itself though was in its entirety destroyed, pieces washing over the hull for a third time but this time it didn’t only affect them. The explosion set in motion movement along all asteroids which in turn also damaged the enemy and forced back the attacking Mobile Suits and Mobile Armor.

“Turn bow at thirty! Open fire at Bogey One!”

Using the force of the explosion Minerva was surfing and adjusting with what was left of the thrusters to use this situation to their advantage, turning the ship to face the enemy vessel.

“Aiming Tannhauser at Bogey One!”

“Fire!”

Minerva’s main cannon narrowly missed the enemy ship, but its power was great enough to damage their starboard side heavily. The remaining debris on that side was destroyed by the force of the canon, thus creating an open way for their ship to pass and use it as a means to escape the battle.

The Mobile Armor tried to give chase but Rey’s Zaku managed to keep it at bay. Soon after the enemy vessel signaled for retreat to all their units who promptly abandoned their cause and returned to their retreating mother ship.

“Bogey One, leaving the area."

“Power levels have reached critical on both Impulse and Lunamaria’s Zaku."

There was heavy damage to the ship, but the Captain did not seem keen on retreating. After all the enemy still had the stolen Mobile Suits.

“Captain?” In her determination though she turned to face Durandal, who was sitting ever calm and who said, “You’ve done enough. We’ll think of another strategy. I personally cannot involve and cause any more inconvenience for the Representative.”

Her features softened and she apologized. Shortly after the signal for retreat was given for the ship’s remaining Mobile Suits. With the enemy now gone they could now freely return.

The code red was lifted shortly after and was changed to yellow, the bridge moved back to its free position, no longer surrounded by extra plating and shrouded darkness, but regained its view on the outside world from its windows. At long last they were able to stand and move about.It felt strange how moments ago they were in a critical situation and how now things had calmed down. The peace probably wouldn't last for long, Athrun knew that from experience and they didn't have time to gather their thoughts either since Cagalli had to contact the other legislatures on Orb to inform them on the situation and had to write down what was happening as part of a briefing so that no information would be lost to time and memory. The Chairman, together with the Captain were leading them back to the Officer's cabin, both strained and exhausted.

Once at the door Durandal spoke, “I sincerely apologize for everything, Representative. I’m sorry you had be involved.”

“Don’t mind us, Chairman. Although, I do regret that things turned out this way. I pray from the bottom of my heart that you will be able to resolve things quickly.”

The Chairman thanked her for her understanding. Athrun however still didn’t feel at rest, it didn’t ease his mind that his identity was revealed and the way the Chairman looked at him didn’t calm him either. But worse of all he felt torn between what he chose to be and what he could do as Athrun. As Alex they would've been worse off, in worst scenario probably even dead. As Athrun however he could be shunned and exiled, if that was the case, with Durandal he just didn't know.

Captain Gladys turned to Cagalli and spoke, “I’m told that rescue and investigation units are on their way to Armory One, I’ve requested that they send a vessel our way to pick you up.”

Cagalli again thanked them for their kindness and made her way inside the cabin, Athrun made to follow until Durandal began to speak, “Captain, I must ask though. This young man saved us earlier didn’t he?”

He turned, door closing behind him.

“Ah, yes.” Gladys admitted, a little flustered by the sudden question.

Durandal smiled and continued, “That was most impressive. The true strength of someone who has survived numerous battles.”

Athrun couldn’t help but stiffen at the comment. Politely he bowed before both the Chairman and Captain and said, “Thank you, though I must apologize for the involvement.”

Gladys smiled warmly and quickly answered, “Your decision was correct. Thank you.”

It sparked something warm inside his chest, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. Gratitude and acknowledgement, two things he hadn't felt in a long time from other people. When he was still part of the military he chased these feelings by following orders and fighting in battle, thinking that by doing what others were telling him to, things would turn out alright and that he himself would find a place amidst it all. However he also knew that these feelings had been his bane in the previous war, they had made him blind from what was actually happening and so in his head he knew it was perhaps not the best thing to acknowledge as a good feeling, but he couldn't help enjoying that sense nostalgia. That satisfaction that he actually did something right, not as Alex Dino but as Athrun Zala.

He knew Alex couldn't continue doing these things, these were things that only mattered to Athrun, and as the Chairman and Captain left and he stepped back inside to get to Cagalli he couldn’t help but feel this inner conflict again. Cagalli noticed and asked him if anything was wrong, but he couldn’t admit this to her, “I am going for a walk. I’ll be back later.” With a gentle squeeze on her shoulder he left to find a place to think.

With the good feelings being Athrun Zala also came the bad. Lost memories of Miguel, Nicol and the many others that had died. These were feelings he simply couldn’t forget no matter how much he missed actually being himself and fighting alongside of others.

 

* * *

 

With the battle over Shinn was finally relieved from hanging around the hangar. Stepping out onto the ground floor he made his way up to Rey and Lunamaria, still eying the green Zaku as he passed by.

“Shinn! Did you hear?” He turned to Lunamaria who saw him eying the unit and she couldn’t help but laugh and say, “They say the pilot is no other than Athrun Zala!”

Together they made their way up to Rey and Shinn replied in surprise, “Zala?!” Shinn only knew Athrun Zala from stories and news he had read during his time in the academy. He was pretty popular as an ace pilot and people spoke of him highly, however the guy had been said to have vanished after the war ended. Nobody knew where he had gone off to.

They met up with Rey and with him he made his way to the dressing room to switch back to his uniform. He didn’t remember much about the war in detail, as a kid he hardly got involved with politics but was stupid enough to follow the ideals of Uzumi Nara Athha. After the evacuation and death of his family he was transferred to a neutral colony with a refugee status, there he entered the LR Tech program to become the first to transfer to a cybernetic body. The transfer had made him lose time and there were several gaps in his memories that he couldn’t clear up. He didn’t know how the war ended until he actually read about it on paper.

“Did everything go well?” Rey asked while pulling on a clean shirt.

Shinn unzipped his suit, pulling the material down his shoulders. During his time in the academy his body would be upgraded quite regularly to fit the demand of his classes. Sometimes it just couldn’t handle the strain he was putting on it and so many times things had to be replaced. Shinn knew Rey through Gilbert and the two had become best friends at the academy.

“I didn’t have any problems, if that’s what you’re worried about. Even so, Anya prepared a better prosthesis that she wants to put me in,” He sighed as he pulled his shirt over his head. “she says I need to look like a ‘proper young man’ or something”

Rey smiled at him, “Well you aren’t growing taller like the rest of us. I guess she means you’re falling behind.”

“Shut up! It’s not like I can help it!”

 

* * *

 

They met up with Lunamaria and her younger sister Meyrin after that. Meyrin quickly broke the news that the guy accompanying the Orb Representative was indeed Athrun Zala. The two girls couldn't stop talking about him after that. It surprised Shinn that he was with someone like her. If Athrun had once been Zaft, why was he acting like he didn’t want to be associated with them at all? Why was he hiding under a false name?

The entire way to the cafeteria the two girls could talk about nothing else. Meyrin and Lunamaria swooned and argued about it because the younger sister couldn’t get why he was hiding his identity. Shinn pretty much lost interest in why, he was already hating the guy for sticking with Orb’s Representative.

“Back then, did he really have to change his name?” the younger sister asked.

Lunamaria snapped back, “Think about what happened to him before, will you! Regardless of his pa-” They stopped talking when they walked inside the cafeteria where Athrun Zala was sitting hunched over on one of the benches and who was now staring at them as if he hadn’t expected anyone to find him here.

 _What an idiot,_ he thought and looked the guy over. Athrun Zala was older than he was by a few years and he couldn’t help but notice that by the way he looked you wouldn’t guess him to be an ace pilot who fought in the previous war. When their eyes met he quickly averted his gaze. Meyrin was now hiding behind Rey in embarrassment and they all remained in an awkward silence until Lunamaria bravely stepped forward.

“We were just talking about you, Athrun Zala. I don't think we've been properly introduced, my name is Lunamaria Hawke,” she said while walking up to him. “hard to believe that I’m honored to have the chance to meet such a legendary ace in such an unexpected place like this.”

But this Athrun guy didn’t seem to acknowledge her compliments and replied bluntly, “I’m not anything like that. I’m just Alex.” It struck a nerve.

Lunamaria however continued in baiting him, “Is that so you don’t have to pilot a Mobile Suit?”

Athrun glared at her. And Shinn couldn't help but think that there was no reason for her to talk to him, the guy obviously wanted to be left alone. Obviously they weren’t good enough for him. “Stop it Luna, who cares about anyone from Orb anyway. They don’t know anything.” he snapped before turning and promptly left them. _I can’t believe that guy, it is pathetic! How can someone like that be with Orb._

“Shinn!” he heard Rey yell out from behind and a hand grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking. He must have been looking angry for Rey to follow him and grab hold of him like that. “Calm down, Shinn!” Rey yelled and Shinn gazed at the floor, sighing deeply before saying, “Sorry.. I know I shouldn’t get worked up.”

Rey released him. “Where are you going?” he asked, the previous authority gone from his tone.

“I’m going to get some rest..”

He left Rey shortly after and returned to their shared cabin. He said he was going to rest but knowing that someone from the Athha family was on board unsettled him greatly and actually made him more uneasy. No matter what he did now he wasn't going to calm down. He sat on his bunk for a while thinking and in his uneasiness looked at his desk where a small worn cellular phone was lying, pink with some straps. And like he usually did when he felt this uneasiness or insecurity he walked up to it, grabbed it and flipped it open.

On the display sat a picture of both him and younger sister and with a couple clicks her happy voice came through the speakers, _“Hello, this is Mayu! I’m sorry but I can’t talk to you right now! I’ll call you back later, so please leave your name after the beep!”_ It was the only memory he had left, every thing else was burned and destroyed. With his right hand he wiped the tears from his eyes, they weren’t real tears and didn’t exactly look like them but they still came out whenever he felt the way he did right now.

He looked down at his hand where drops of white watery liquid had gathered. Even in this artificial body he could still feel the pain of losing his family, he could feel the ache in his artificial heart every day and the longing to his family.


	5. Phase 05: Scars that won’t heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of Junius Seven breaks. Shinn confront Cagalli and Athrun makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would like to say that I edited the previous chapters, added and changed some small things in terms of thoughts (nothing plot related) and layout. 
> 
> I also changed to title to Gundam Seed Memories, it is more fitting with what I have set up for the future and it sounds a lot better IMO.
> 
> Nothing else really, enjoy reading~
> 
> I might return and edit this one later on after I finish a couple more chapters to fit it all together and improve the relative context.

Night had come quickly after that and Athrun studied the features of Cagalli’s face as she rested and slept. All worry washed away leaving something much aching to angelicness. Athrun longed for that same worry-free feeling, wished he could do it just as easily but he found no rest that night, much like the months after the war he wasn’t able to settle down like that. Memories of fighting Kira, Nicol’s death and of his father plaguing his dreams and now the conflict of identity kept him up throughout the night.

When the war had ended and everything had been over and done with Chairman Canaver had asked him how he saw himself in a year's time. Would he still be part of Zaft’s military? Would he stop fighting altogether? His answer back then had been clear, he wanted to help maintain the peace of this world without fighting, he was done with war. But when Chairman Canaver asked him how he would achieve this when his name had been tainted with the blood stained by his father he had no answers. Eventually he was given a choice. He could leave behind all the bad things his name carried and Chairman Canaver was prepared to drop all charges so that he could focus on what was important, however she said this with repercussions.

In part he wasn’t allowed to be a militant person for the rest of his life and with that would part from the name Athrun Zala to become someone new. This way he could do what he wanted with the exception of everything involving battle and Mobile Suits.

He stuck to those wishes with ease and in the months that followed he was actually quite content with his new life. With Cagalli he returned to Orb and was kindly invited to stay in her family’s mansion where he served as her bodyguard. But the ease of living was short lasted because still people recognized him and in some cases reacted viciously.

This time however it felt different and he wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not. In the chaos of surviving and protecting Cagalli it had slipped out and now everyone’s suspicions were confirmed. Athrun Zala was among them accompanying the Representative of Orb. The people however seemed indifferent if not glad that he was around.

His fingers left the tablet that was lying on his lap, he wasn’t doing anything in particular with it, he simply passed through pages and with a sigh he grabbed the device and dropped it back on the table. He just couldn’t make sense of it all. Was being Alex Dino really what the world needed? If so, why was he feeling conflicted about being Athrun Zala instead?

 

* * *

 

“Athrun, are you alright? Did you rest at all?!” Cagalli said with worry in her voice the next morning when she noticed his exhaustion, “If you are worried about earlier? I’m sorry!”

She didn’t know what inner demons haunted him and Athrun didn’t feel like sharing them with her because he knew they would only distract her from her active duties. He turned in his chair to face her, Cagalli was still sitting on the bunk she had been sleeping on throughout the evening.

Athrun had taken the chair, but had stayed up throughout most of the night to think about the things that were on his mind and Cagalli, who was again blaming herself stared at him with guilt in her eyes, something he couldn’t quite understand. “Don’t be,” he sighed and slumped back into his seat, “it doesn’t have anything to do with you, Cagalli-”

“But, maybe if I hadn’t said-!”

“It was wishful thinking that made me believe that no one here would recognize me. That and the entire situation was out of our control, it would’ve come out at some point.” His hands rubbed against his forehead, wishing away the exhaustion he was feeling. _I will feel better when we board the transport vessel. I should visit Kira when we get back._

“Durandal doesn’t seem like a guy to try anything..”

“That doesn’t make it easier, Cagalli. Part of the conventions is that I am to remain Alex Dino, I shouldn’t have gotten involved.” Athrun knew that Cagalli understood what he had meant. As much as he wanted he wasn’t allowed to act out as Athrun Zala anymore with the danger of arrest and  imprisonment.

“I think that we would’ve been in a lot more danger if you hadn’t said anything, Athrun. You know I will always stand up for you when people criticize who you are, right? No matter what! Athrun, I-” their conversation was interrupted when a shrill beeping sounded from the doorway.

Athrun got up from his seat and went to a side panel, where with the press of a few buttons the door itself slid open. He, as well as Cagalli were surprised to see both the Captain and Chairman standing there with worry on their faces, “I’m sorry to interrupt, Representative. But there is something we must discuss.”

 

* * *

 

At 15 years old Athrun and many more inhabitants of Plant witnessed the destruction of Junius Seven. The nuclear attack had wiped out its entire population including his mother, Lenore Zala. Athrun had always been closer to her than to his father and the news had broken something inside both of them. For Athrun it made him angry enough that he decided that in order to protect the ones he loved he had to grow stronger. He was going to be the sword of justice to avenge and protect those he cared for.

The destruction of Junius Seven had been the final propulsion to the war that followed and his father had slowly lost his mind the more it progressed. After the war ended it had become a memorial and the final peace treaties had been signed close to the asteroid that encircled Earth. It was a place that carried sad memories for everyone, a sacred place that nobody was allowed to touch because it reminded people of the horrible things war brought to this world. It reminded people that war had no winners, it only brought death and mourning.

Now it seemed that this sacred place had begun to change trajectory and was on collision course with Earth itself. He would almost call it irony.

“How can Junius Seven be moving?”

“We don’t know, but the fact is that it is moving and fast,” the Chairman answered, “it has taken the worst possible trajectory.”

There were many questions he had about the sudden shift in Junius Seven’s course, Athrun however remained dutiful and stood at Cagalli’s side while she was discussing the situation with the Chairman. Captain Gladys stepped forward, “Our crew have been able to confirm these reports, Representative.”

It made little sense to him. This simply couldn’t have occurred without notice.  Athrun couldn’t help himself and asked, “How could this even happen? They said it was in stable orbit and that it would stay that way for at least hundreds of years!”

Durandal looked at him and answered, “It could be from a meteor collision, or something else. The bottom line is that it is moving even as we speak. And it is headed to Earth.”

“If it falls, what would happen? What would happen to Orb, no I mean, to Earth?” Cagalli asked with a quiet voice.

“Considering its mass, I’m sure you already know. Plant is doing everything they can to investigate the cause and will do everything in order to avoid a collision. I must apologize for involving you in yet another incident, I have ordered the Minerva to proceed towards Junius Seven when the repairs are complete. It is most fortunate that we are in such close proximity. I hope you understand, Princess.”

“Of course! This situation is as grave a concern to us as it is to you! If there is anything I can do to help?” She answered with determination.

“I understand how you feel Princess, but right now I ask that you remain calm. If there is anything we need, we’ll be sure to let you know.”

Durandal got to his feet as Captain Gladys said, “It might be difficult but we will try to establish a direct line to communicate your nation. We will also contact the transport vessel to ask if they can pick you up as soon as possible.”

“I see. Thank you.” Cagalli quickly responded as she took a light bow to express her respects.

“We will inform you if there are any new developments, Princess. Until then we will do everything we can.”

With those words the Chairman and Captain left and the previous determination was replaced with worry as Cagalli turned to him, “What should we do, Athrun?”

Athrun was uncertain, “We should try and contact Orb. Until then there is little we can do.” He tried to give her some holdfast, though there was little he could add that would make the situation better. There was little Cagalli could do to help improve the situation, and inside he felt almost obligated to take action himself.

What else could he do when something threatened the lives of everyone?  


* * *

 

Shortly after, they left for the bridge to look at the previously gathered data. It was as they had been told: Junius Seven was large by standard measuring up to at least 8 kilometers in diameter and it confirming the calculated outcome if it were to crash on Earth, it would destroy the planet completely.

It was also moving at such a fast rate that it worried Athrun. _This couldn’t have been caused by a previous collision, impossible!_

The speed also lessened the response time they had when it came to taking action. Even if Cagalli managed to contact the other officials at Orb there would be little they could do and that news ached her determination even more, even more so when she heard that it was nearly impossible to change Junius Seven’s course.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?” she asked Athrun when they walked back to the Officer’s Cabin.

Athrun had thought about it and could only come up with a single course of action. “We break it up to pieces.” he answered and Cagalli looked at him with shock.

“Break it up? You mean blow it up with explosions?!”

“Perhaps, but maybe we can break off pieces. We have no choice if we want to avoid a collision or at least minimize the damage.” He could see that it didn’t calm Cagalli, but there was no other way he could put it. There was too little time.

“How do we smash something that big?!” they heard people say as they walked by the cafeteria area.

“How can we smash it when there are still bodies buried there?” came another softer voice, Athrun recognized it from one of the girls from the previous day.

“If we don’t and it does drop to Earth, the planet will be destroyed. If that happens nothing will survive, not even the people living there right now.” They could hear several gasps in surprise and Cagalli stopped walking and listened.

“It would destroy Earth?!” came a surprised reply.

“That’s right.”

“That’s terrible!“ They set out to continue their journey when suddenly someone laughed and said, “Well, I guess that’s just how it is! It might even end up being easier for us on Plant. It solves a lot issues this way!”

Without thinking Cagalli stormed into the room yelling, “How can you people talk like that?!”

Athrun quickly followed after her. He recognized some as the people from yesterday, together with two engineers. Several of them rose to their feet and saluted Cagalli while others stayed back and ignored the situation completely.

“That is just how it is?! It will solve a lot of issues?! Do you have any idea how serious this situation is?!” Cagalli continued to rant, “What it will do to Earth?! How many people will die as a result?! Do you even realize what you’re saying!”

The crew members looked at her with shame and one of the engineers, probably the person who had said these stupid things, stepped forward and quietly apologized. Athrun figured Cagalli would leave it at that, but to his surprise she continued, “Is this the way you people of Zaft think?! We all went through that war and we all suffered! And now under Chairman Durandal’s administration things seem to finally change! Is that not true?!” Anger was fueling her words too much, but she didn’t seem to want to stop. Athrun stepped forward and grabbed her and gently tugged her back to try and calm her down. “That’s enough, Cagalli.” he whispered.

“It’s not like Yolant meant what he was saying,” came a sudden voice from the back. “can’t you even tell the difference?!” The crowd turned. Raven hair and bright red eyes looked fiercely at them as he said those words. Athrun hadn’t noticed Shinn earlier but felt agitated by his tone.

“How dare you!” with fire Cagalli stepped up to the challenge, but he pulled her back.

“Step down Cagalli!” he said more strictly because the situation was growing out of hand.

“Shinn, watch what your words.” Someone said to the teen who in response merely shrugged and answered childishly, “Oh, that’s right. She’s kind of a big deal, isn’t she? Being Orb’s Representative and all.”

“You!” Cagalli spat while pulling forward again, now ready to pick a fight and Athrun had to do his best to hold her back with some restrain.

He used more force this time and now yelled at her, “Calm yourself, CagallI!”

He then turned to the confronting teen and stepped between them. “Durandal told us about you, he also mentioned you came from Orb. I take it you dislike the nation,” he could see that this agitated the youth, but calmly continued nonetheless, “please refrain from fighting with the Representative over unrelated and trivial matters.”

He hoped it would quiet the tension, but he was wrong. Something flashed in the eyes of the teen in front of him and he stepped forward angrier than he was before.

“Trivial?! Unrelated?! I won’t allow anyone to call it that! You’re completely wrong!” Athrun stood his ground, if he had to he would defend himself and definitely would not allow himself to lose face in front of a crowd.

The juice can held by the teen was easily crushed to pulp and he noticed the vague discoloring of the Shinn’s right hand. Now that he actually saw it he could see that there wasn’t skin covering that hand, but instead he saw small metallic plates shaped as segments of his fingers. These fingers were now crushing a can flatly till hardly anything was left, remaining juice running through his fingers and spilling on the floor. For a second he was worried for their safety but when he looked up he could see what he could only describe as tears staining the corners of Shinn’s eyes.

“My family died because of the Athha’s! They were murdered and I would’ve been dead with them!” he then yelled at them and Cagalli tensed up behind him. It surprised him. Shinn continued, “We believed in the nation and your so-called ideals, but in the end my family was killed at Onogoro!” He then set his eyes on Cagalli who was caught back by his words, “‘Cause of that I will never believe any of you! I will never again believe in the nation of Orb! I’ll never believe in your ideals ever again! When you decided to protect the nation’s justice, did you ever think how many lives would be lost?!” he yelled and shook his head. “You don’t have a single clue, so stop talking like you know everything!” With that he roughly walked passed Cagalli, pushing her aside and leaving the room. The others simply stood there and stared, unable to reply.

  


* * *

 

Shinn wasn’t about to stick around for Rey to find him and scold him for saying the things he did. He knew it was wrong of him to talk down higher ranked officials, let alone pick a fight with representatives from other nations, but frankly he wasn’t about to stand by and let someone talk high and mighty when they had no idea about the way things were.

Of course Jolant had been an idiot, he was being a fool on purpose sometimes and shouldn’t have said the things he did but someone like Athha shouldn’t rub in their ideals and high standards when they weren’t an inch better than what Jolant had been saying. And then there was this Athrun guy again. Lunamaria and everyone he met spoke highly of him, so why was a guy like that with someone from Orb?! The more he thought about it the more it pissed him off! How dare he even talk to him like that!

“Shinn, stop walking will you!” He stopped his quickened pace and turned to see Vino running up to him. Rey wasn’t there. Perhaps that’s a good thing? Or perhaps not, he wondered, but couldn’t help but feel guilty about betraying his promise and orders.

“What do you need?!” he snapped and Vino stepped back awkwardly. Shinn inhaled deeply and sighed loudly before apologizing to Vino. He knew his anger could frighten people off, perhaps that wasn’t the best thing to lean on right now. “Sorry, Vino. I didn’t mean it like that..” he replied more calmly and the engineer smiled, “Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you were pretty upset after all. I’m sure everyone is worried.”

“I’m sure they’re used to it.” he replied.

“Badmouthing teachers is one thing but you yelled at the Representative of Orb! That’s hardly a trivial thing, Shinn! People receive heavy punishment for that!”

The last thing he needed was someone telling him what he already knew. “I know! I shouldn’t have done that, so please!” he replied with agitation. He could really use some shooting practise right now.

Waving his hands Vino continued, “I’m not here to lecture you, Shinn. I don’t think you’re wrong, besides I’m sure Rey will give you an earful as is. I just want to make sure you’re alright, that’s all.”

He didn’t feel alright. He felt emotional with anger and sadness both raging inside of him.  Talking about his family always let loose emotions he couldn’t really control. He just couldn’t just forget about them with the phantom pain and nightmares and he couldn’t help but feel the way he did. For Vino’s sake though he forced himself to look at him with a smile and said what he always said, “I’ll be fine, Vino. Just need to blow some steam. I’ll see you later, alright?”

 

* * *

 

 

He made his way back to his bunk afterward at a steady pace and tried to avoid as much contact with the others as possible. He was glad to see that Rey was not there and made his way to his desk where he roughly grabbed the mobile phone that once belonged to his sister. His fingers shifted over the controls with haste and only when he saw the pictures did the stress and ache leave him.

In moment such as these he found that whenever he closed his eyes he could still see the blood draped over the hillside, he could still taste the ashes and the only thing that made those images leave his conscious were the pictures of his family happy, alive and well.

_“Shinn, can you hear me?”_  He looked up from his phone when he heard the sudden radio message.

“Anya? Is that you?” he was using his inner system to patch through whatever it was he was saying, but he still had to speak the actual words to do so.

_“Sorry to bother you like this, but you were supposed to be here about half an hour ago. Did something happen?”_

His eyes widened. He forgot! He quickly scrambled to his feet and placed the phone back on the desk before yelling out, “I’m sorry, Anya! I completely forgot! I’m coming right now!” And with that ran out the door.

 

* * *

 

“Everything seems to be in working order, thank goodness!” In his vision he could see several diagrams measuring and scanning for results. The same results were visible on one of the computers where Anya was typing away. Spite of what was happening in the world she seemed too happy for her own good.

“I told you so, there were no strange occurrences.” he said while the many diagrams in his vision closed and disappeared. He reached to the back of his neck and grabbed one of the thick wires that was connected to him and promptly pulled it out.

Anya turned on her wheeled crutch and pushed herself to him where she helped dismantle the wires that stuck into the skin on his back while softly humming a tune. He didn’t feel shy when she touched him, he was so used to being poked and prodded for research that it didn’t bother him sitting there with little to no clothing on. Though right now he was only missing his shirt. But when she stopped in front of him and eyed him with narrowed, calculating eyes he felt a shiver run down his spine.

“I would say being late is somewhat of a strange occurrence though. What happened?” she asked with a soft voice and Shinn stopped pulling out wires and quickly turned his gaze to the floor.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” he answered and instead continued with the wires of his right arm.

“Don’t want to? It must have been bad if it got you this sulked up.”

On queue the entryway opened and he looked over his shoulder to see Durandal walk in much to his fear. He recognized that treacherous smile and felt himself growing smaller in his seat.

“There you are, we wondered where you had gone off to, Shinn. It isn’t like you to miss your appointments.”

Ridden with guilt of what had happened earlier he couldn’t help but stare at the floor, Durandal however stopped in front of him and to his surprise he felt a hand under his chin, forcing him to look upwards. Calculating eyes looked down at him and Durandal turned his face to the side before using his hands to wipe something out of the corner of his eyes. Shinn looked up and saw wetness on his fingertips.

“Did something happen?” he asked while walking to the computer screen and with several quick types ran through the previous made test results. Shinn was uncertain and was at loss of words. As if reading his mind Durandal continued, “Is it because of Representative Athha?” He followed up and Shinn just felt himself grow smaller and smaller.

Durandal sighed and leaned back against the computer desk. “Rey told me what had happened, I know we have spoken about this many times, but sometimes you have to try and control that anger so you can use it when you really have to.”

“Yes, sir.” he answered quietly, he wanted to say something to defend himself, but he knew it wasn’t going to help him. Instead he bit his lip and listened.

“Minerva is underway to Junius Seven,” That was something he didn’t know yet and he looked up with surprise. “you will receive a briefing later tonight, but it will be a tough mission. I want you to be careful.” Durandal told him with worry in his eyes, “You will be near Earth’s atmosphere and we never actually tested how much tension moving through the atmosphere will cause your current prosthetic.”

At that Anya got to her feet and yelled out, “You’re sending Shinn out there?! What if something goes wrong!”

Durandal looked at her, “As much as I dislike the idea there is little choice we have. The situation is dire and we need all the pilots we can get,” He turned back to Shinn, “promise me something though, Shinn. Don’t linger too long this close to Earth’s atmosphere, if gravity pulls you in then we don’t know what will happen. You might not survive.” He wasn’t about to back out from a fight. Junius Seven’s situation worried him just as much as anyone else

 

“I will do as you say, Gill,” He looked at Anya’s worrisome expression, “I have to do my best if I want to protect everyone after all.”

 

* * *

 

There was little time for Cagalli to recover from the previous argument, Athrun noticed that she was deeply unsettled by Shinn’s words from earlier. Yet she quickly continued her active duties as Representative when she heard a contact link had been established with the other Officials of Orb. Athrun had waited outside as she changed to her official uniform and continued waiting as she proceeded the briefing and council with her other Officials, which he obviously wasn’t allowed to attend as a mere citizen.

Standing there thinking, he understood where the emotions in Shinn were coming from but agreed that the outlet was wrongly appointed. Cagalli had little to do with what had happened, it had been the choice of her father to follow in what they strongly believed, much like he wasn’t personally responsible for the choices his own father had made. Yet the burdens of which were still carried by people like himself and Cagalli and in this case he couldn’t say that Cagalli’s father had made a bad decision. He would have done the same most likely.

When the meeting was over Cagalli opened the doorway and looked at him with exhausted eyes, “We’re done, you can come back in now.”

She walked back to the chair and sat down heavily. “Are you alright?” he asked quietly and she answered while rubbing her temples, “No, it’s all a big mess.”

Athrun couldn’t find the words that could make it easier for Cagalli, instead he offered to get her something to drink and left. When he returned she hadn’t moved an inch but finally admitted to him, “That boy..”

Setting down his drinks he kneeled in front of her and took the hand from her eyes. They were watery, on the verge of tears and he squeezed her hand gently, “Don’t let it bother you Cagalli, you knew very well there would be people like him.”

“But for him to talk about my father like that,” she answered with grief. “my father suffered a great deal over the decisions he had to make and yet.”

He reached forward and embraced her, one hand running through her hair while gently speaking, “There is nothing we can do about that, we can’t ask him to understand because he wouldn’t get it. I believe his own feelings are overwhelming enough as it is.” He remembered his own anger, the rage that had made him blind enough to try and kill Kira. He had been the same back then. “You realize that right now you can’t change the way he feels, do you Cagalli?” he asked while pulling back to look at her. She sniffed when tears finally ran down from her eyes and he tried to wipe them off when suddenly she cried out and launched herself forward into his arms.

Athrun landed on his back and Cagalli cried loudly as she held onto him, her hands clutching at the back of his shoulders. He would never not comfort her because he cared too deeply for her. Through her he was allowed to continue living and help improve the world as Alex Dino. No matter what they would say he would always care for her and he would always love her for the person she was, a pure hearted and spirited soul that fought to maintain peace in this war torn world. His hands embraced her a little tighter as she cried, understanding the pain she was feeling and thinking of ways that he could share this burden.

Cagalli shouldn’t have to deal with all of this alone, he decided. If he could carry that torch with her then he would, but he knew that as Alex Dino he couldn’t realize this. Part of his punishment forbid it, but Cagalli who chose to call him Athrun despite his arguments deserved someone who could help her in this current state of affairs. Perhaps right now the world deserved something better than Alex DIno as well.

With exhaustion finally settling in Cagalli pushed herself up so that she could look at him. He couldn’t stop his cheeks from reddening up at the sight her, her hair messed up, her eyes puffy and cheeks red from crying.

“Sorry, Athrun” she spoke with a quiet voice which took away all his restraint and perhaps it was improper but his hands rose to her the sides of her face, gently reaching the area under her jawline and he leaned forward kissing her mouth. His lips pressing against that warmth before pulling back.

Cagalli’s redness had doubled and Athrun smiled at her, “Get some sleep and take care of yourself Cagalli.” With that helped her to her feet. She slumped down onto the bed and looked at him strangely when he sat down next to her.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” he said quietly and watched as exhaustion finally won over. As much as she tried she finally had to give in and was dead asleep moments later. Athrun raised his hand from her hair and got to his feet. He had decided he couldn’t let Cagalli or the world deal with the situation alone when he was capable of doing something to stop it. Perhaps in this case it would help more if he listened to Athrun instead of Alex Dino.

 

* * *

 

Shinn didn’t sleep after his final check up with Anya and Gil, he knew that the nightmares would probably plague him if he did and so he decided to stay awake for the mission to come. It was one of the benefits he had now, he could deal with a lack of sleep even if it was still minimally required, much like food and water he only needed little of it. Anya had lectured him before that these were the things that made them most human and made him the same as anyone else. That and his brain still required the nutrients to remain functional.

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like had he been entirely human, if perhaps people would look at him with less fear of what he was. Would he have more friends? He couldn’t remember how living was right before the transplant, but he knew in what condition his body was. The transplant had risk and it was a long struggle to get to where he was now, had he been given the choice to do it all over again then he would have. Nothing was worse than living like before.

  
He watched the engineers work down in the hangar from the briefing room, the monitor in the back listing their mission. They would assist the pilots of both the Voltaire and Rousseau who would land on Junius Seven and break it to pieces using what they called Meteor Breakers, large drilling devices with set explosives. The Breaker would drill into Junius Seven and the explosion would cause the asteroid to break into small enough pieces that would evaporate in the atmosphere.

This way even if some of them fell the damage would be minimal, but still it worried Shinn. Even if segments fell the world would forever be changed by this event. _Perhaps it could even be enough to start another war_ , he thought but willed that kind of bad thinking away.

He heard a door slide open and saw Rey coming in also wearing his piloting suit. He was busy with the briefing monitor and Shinn remembered his actions from earlier as well as the words Gill said to him. With Rey being one of his few real friends he wondered whether or not he was upset and felt that he had to apologize, he just couldn’t find the right words.

Feeling his stare Rey looked over his shoulder, “Is something wrong?”

Quickly he stared back out of the window, “It’s nothing..” It was stupid really.

“Don’t worry about earlier, Shinn. I’m not upset or anything,” Surprised he looked back at Rey who continued on the monitor while saying, “I think you were right with what you said.”

As stupid as it was he felt relieved.

* * *

 

Athrun’s certainty was overtaken by qualms as he walked to the bridge. His determination had not swayed but he felt worry about the response he might get in return. Nevertheless it was worth the shot.

He didn’t want to disrespect what former Chairman Canaver had done for him, after all he could have been in jail for treachery but he couldn’t just stand by and watch Junius Seven fall. He wasn’t going to let anyone disrespect his mother’s grave like that.

He entered the bridge which in the current conditioning hadn’t gone on lockdown yet. Chairman Durandal was sitting in the same chair as earlier and the crew was busy preparing for the upcoming mission. The plan was that the Chairman and Cagalli would leave the ship as soon as the transport vessel would arrive. Athrun however knew he could add plenty to the efforts Minerva was giving to protect the inhabitants of Earth, he didn’t want to leave.

Noticing his attendance Chairman Durandal turned to him spoke, “Athrun? No, I mean Alex. Is something the matter?”

It was now or never. “I want to ask something of you and I know it would be unconventional, but please lend me one of your Mobile Suits to attend the mission.”

People looked up in surprise and Captain Gladys turned away from her duties to quickly address him, “Given the circumstance that would be very difficult. Do you really think I would authorize a request like that?” She leered at him, “Do you really want to put former Chairman Canaver’s efforts to waste?”

“I understand that completely, but given the current circumstance I simply cannot stand by and do nothing. So please, if you have a machine that’s usable allow me to help!” he ardently responded and bowed in respect and surrender. There was little else he could say that would improve his standings.

With regret Gladys replied, “I know how you feel, however-” “Very well, I will authorize your request,” the Chairman cut in and all heads turned and looked at him, including Athrun’s, “it will be under my jurisdiction as Chairman.”

“Chairman!” the Captain protested.

“This isn’t a battle situation, Captain and the more machines we have out there the better. You are well aware of his skillset, we could definitely use it.”

Athrun felt relief and tension left his shoulders. The Captain dismissed him quickly after that since the mission was due to start any moment now. He was to use the Zaku from earlier which much to his surprise had been repaired for use. Since they would only assist other pilots there was no need for battle equipment or anything like that.

With about eight minutes to spare he quickly made his way to the changing room where without hesitation he discarded his current outfit. When grabbing the red ace pilot suit however he felt a pang of nostalgia and with both familiarity and pride put it on.

He could actually do something by his own hands. For once he could actually do something as Athrun Zala and he wasn’t going to disappoint, he was going to do his best to save as many lives as he could and he was going to help Cagalli.

He zipped up his uniform and quickly made his way to the hangar where everyone was already preparing for launch. One of the engineers informed him on the current state of the Zaku he had fought in earlier, he thanked him for repairing the unit so swiftly before getting inside.

He quickly read through the briefing and prepared himself. They would launch quickly to join the other teams that were already underway with drilling equipment. His hands typed away fast and accurate, the layout and programming so embedded into his system that he needed no reintroduction and when setting up the final adjustments an alarm went off and the intercom suddenly spoke out throughout the hangar, _“Launch aborted! Current situation has changed! Joule team has engaged an unknown enemy at Junius Seven!”_

_Yzak was out there?!_ If Yzak was out there then Dearka had to be there also. He realized that if Yzak was leading a team he was probably a commander by now.

_“All units, alter your equipment for anti-Mobile Suit combat. Bogey One has also been confirmed!”_

Around him the engineers sprang into action and quickly got to work, instead of simple flightgear the Zaku’s would be equipped with gear suitable for combat. The situation raised concerns and confusion. Who was this unknown enemy? Did this mean that Junius Seven’s drop was not accidental?

Athrun quickly gained radio contact with the bridge and asked the signaler, “What’s going on?”

The young pigtailed female quickly answered, “As of right now we don’t know. The mission to support the Joule team however remains the same. When completing the equipment swap please proceed to take off.”

That didn’t answer his questions and promptly he terminated the connection and waited to be greenlit. Another message was patching through, this time it was Lunamaria.

“The situation seems to have changed, it could be dangerous out there.” she mockingly said with a smile. “You can still turn back, you know.” Athrun wasn’t sure whether this was meant as a joke or if she was being serious. The disrespect however ticked him off, specially because he was mentally preparing himself for what was out there. When the communication link stopped he said to himself with annoyance, “Treat me with some respect would you?!”

His gear was switched shortly after and he stepped into the launch bay, determined and sure of his skills. He was going out there to stop Junius Seven from falling, if there was an enemy causing the drop then he also would stop them to his best ability. He wasn’t going to kill anyone, but he had to try his best and save the people of Earth.

_“Course is clear. Ready for take off.”_ His hands tightened on the controls as he said out in familiarity, “Athrun Zala, Zaku, taking off!”


	6. Phase 06: End of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission for the destruction of Junius Seven begins~

Force Impulse was quickly assembled upon launch and Shinn took note of his comrades following him. _Is that guy even going to manage?_ he asked himself as he watched the green Zaku following him together with Lunamaria and Rey.

He looked back ahead and activated his scanners, the extra circle that stood lose from his pupils slowly turned as his range of vision increased and data started flowing in. It was mostly out of habit that he did it this way. Impulse had a similar system but he was quicker at ID’ing any Mobiles Suits if he saw them with his own two eyes.

Further in the distance he could see the green Ginn’s belonging to the Nazca classed battleships, the green units seemed to carry along massive drilling devices, most likely the Meteor Breakers they read about in the briefing. _They are probably Joule’s team_ , he realized. He then noticed they were being attacked by a different type of Ginn Mobile Suits and were being forced to retreat.

Using Impulse’s systems he quickly send word to the Minerva about this. As a safety measure he also scanned the comm lines but all open channels were radio silent, their enemy wasn’t chatty it seemed.

He opened the line to his four comrades, “Heads up, the enemy is using Ginn type two’s. They are specialized for close combat so be careful.”

In his head he could already hear Lunamaria protest and yell and he grinned. Knowing the ban on chatter over the comms she wisely remained silent, but Shinn knew she was going to rave about it after. His humor was short lasted though when Athrun Zala opened a private line of communications through Impulse’s system. He frowned, _what does this guy want?_

 _“Were you really able to ID them that quickly?”_ he asked with kindness.

 _What’s with this guy?!_ he thought before answering, “You got a problem with that? My oculorum sensors are better calibrated to my system than most Mobile Suits in Zaft.”

This seemed to make the guy smile, _“No, that’s impressive really.”_

 _What’s with the ogling!_ “It isn’t anything special. Sorry, but we should keep the chatter down and focus on the mission.”

_“Understood, sorry.”_

Terminating the private line, why was this guy contacting him through Impulse anyway, he focussed back on the mission and shortly after received another notion from his scanners. Up ahead not far from where they were three new signals popped up: Gaia, Abyss and Chaos. He realized quickly that the three units, for whatever reason, were attacking their Ginn comrades. _Did they have anything to do with this?!_

“I’ve spotted Gaia, Abyss and Chaos! They are attacking the Joule team!” He increased Impulse’s thrusters to gain speed and charge forward. Behind him Rey and Lunamaria did the same.

 _“We’ll get those three!”_ Lunamaria swore with a vengeance over their comms.

Athrun was quick to reply, _“Those Mobile Suits are not our objective!”_

_“I know that! But unless we get rid of them we can’t complete the mission!”_

Understanding their urgency he ignored what was being said and opened fire at the three units as a means to distract them from the drilling teams. They were now closer to the surface of Junius Seven, which spread out as a rocky, lifeless landscape underneath them. Abyss started chasing him, the unit tried to cut him down with that familiar scythe of his. Unlike last time Shinn was not going to be surprised and quickly dodged while returning fire.

He noticed Lunamaria and Athrun each taking on one of the other units, forcing their attention away from the drilling team which under cover from Rey continued with their objective. With the machine upright in place they could activate it and send it down into the rocks of Junius Seven where it would be set off using a timer. The explosion would then cause the surface the crack and split and if lucky it would split Junius Seven to small enough pieces that would burn up when it would descent into the atmosphere. Or at least that was the ideal scenario.

Skeptic as he was in Athrun’s ability as a pilot he still kept an eye on him using his sensors every now and then while avoiding serious damage from Abyss. Seeing him manage surprised him really, but they were also wasting time. Of the drills send out many were being destroyed by the enemy Ginn’s and the team led by commander Joule was steadily losing pilots as they desperately tried to get the Meteor Breakers to work.

They were running out of time.

 

* * *

The years of peace hadn’t rusted his skills using a Mobile Suit. He was better prepared than last time, this time he didn’t have Cagalli with him to distract him and so now he could focus all his energy on the mission. The drill teams have to be protected, the drills have to be send down and Junius Seven has to break up in as many pieces possible. They had to protect Earth.

The enemy Ginn forces that tried to stop them were turning desperate he noticed, they wouldn’t give up no matter what damage their Mobile Suits received. Each going as far as dying to prevent the drills from going down. Athrun wondered who their enemy was, if they declared themselves Earth Alliance Forces then it would cause a massive stir but he doubted this was the case. The radio however remained silent and their enemy refused to come out and declare themselves.

Up ahead Lunamaria was clashing heavily with Gaia, both units damaged by one another. There was little he could do to help while still being stuck fighting his own battles, he tried his best not to kill any of the enemies but the Ginn’s were making it difficult.

With a sense of grace he leaned the Zaku backwards, dodging incoming fire from the Ginn’s while aiming and taking out their weapons. The drill team he was trying to protect however soon came under assault from their second enemy team, Chaos.

How could he convince them that they weren’t the enemy? Opening a public channel was not an option, but they probably thought Zaft’s Ginn’s coincided with the other enemy Ginn units.

He fired several shots, missing the unit on purpose to draw its attention away from the team. Chaos, taking the bait, focussed his assaults then on him, but Athrun noticed how he was underestimating him. _This isn’t like Armory One_ , he thought while taking care of one of the pod units and in an intimidating way flew up close and personal. He just wanted those three to stop attacking so they could do their job and save the planet and he could have destroyed Chaos in that intimidating moment right then and there but as the pilot flinched from surprise he took the opportunity to throw a heavy punch into its chest area. He forced Chaos back and hoped that he would understand what he was trying to make clear.

Another one of Chaos’s mobile weapon pods tried to assault him unexpectedly, with agility he backed off using his Zaku’s shield to deflect any incoming blows and with ease disposed of the weapon pod using his Zaku’s beam tomahawk. He was not trying to kill them, there was no point. But if they continued then he had to disable them one way or the other.

A loud rumble interrupted their fighting and a bright light illuminated the battlefield when one of the more crucial bombs set off. Gradually a large crack formed over the surface of Junius Seven and split the large plane into two pieces. Chaos, as well as the other units stopped fighting in this confusion, perhaps now they finally understood that they weren’t the bad guys.

Everyone froze up and watched the separation of the two pieces, but it still wasn’t enough. A piece this large would still cause a lot of damage to the surface. Athrun opened the comm channel used for both his own squad as well as the drilling team and ended the momentum, “What are you waiting for! We’re not done yet, we need to break it into smaller pieces!”

He quickly chased another team flying in with a new Meteor Breaker and was greeted by familiar voices.

 _“Athrun, is that you?”_ said Dearka.

Yzak however was ever as hostile, _“You bastard! The hell are you doing here?!”_

Hearing them brought a smile on his face, but now was not the time to catch up on old friends. “That’s unimportant now, we must continue our mission!” he said while catching up to a dark colored Zaku carrying one of the drills. Unsurprisingly it belonged to his old friend Dearka Elsman. He also noticed Yzak nearby in an almost similar unit colored in a blue tint.

Yzak acknowledged his saying bitterly, _“R..right, I know that!”_ and caught up with them.

He realized how much he had missed working with them.

“You haven’t changed, Yzak.” Athrun teased and Yzak was quick to respond, _“Neither have you!”_

He could hear Dearka sigh in the background. The familiarity of working with people who without words knew what had to be done proved to be worthwhile. As if in perfect sync they moved through the battlefield, getting rid of any enemy that was unfortunate enough to get in their way with such ease that it actually frightened them off for the most part.

Athrun would sweep in and take out their weapons while Yzak got up close and used a polearm to disable the enemy. With elegance they moved like fish in a pot. Dearka meanwhile focussed on getting the Meteor Breaker in place.

One of their prior enemies decided to get involved, Abyss narrowly missed hitting the drill with its specialized beams. The unit had escaped Shinn earlier in the moment of confusion, using the debris to make his escape and was now focussing his attention on them. Athrun turned and by instinct called out for Yzak to react, “Yzak!”

The latter responded with anger, _“Shut up! I’m in command here! Stop giving out orders! You’re just a damn civilian!”_

Yzak was ever quick to react without fear or hesitation. Together with Athrun he surrounded Abyss like a shark encircling its prey. When their enemy tried to attack using his scythe Yzak charged forward and promptly cut the weapon in half, in his daze Athrun swept in from behind and cut off his left leg, damaging the unit further to the point where fighting was no longer the best option.

His comrade Chaos then tried to intervene, only to find himself outclassed. Moving on from Abyss Athrun distracted the other Mobile Suit while Yzak charged in from behind using his polearm, cutting off one arm before moving out of the way for Athrun to destroy his riffle.

 

* * *

 

Shinn, who was trying to catch up with them to help found himself instead watching from a distance with awe. Amazed by their swift teamwork he stood perplexed. _Are these the abilities of the pilots who survived Jachin Due?_ he wondered as he watched them fight. He had heard the exchange earlier, Athrun apparently knew both Commander Joule and pilot Elsman whose reputations were explicit within their ranks. _Just how good is this guy?_ he thought and vaguely wondered if he had underestimated his skill as the drill was send down.

 _“Shinn! What are you doing?! Our mission is not yet finished!”_ came a quick reply from Rey that snapped him out of his thoughts. However before he could do anything three flares lit up the battlefield coming from Bogey One signaling Chaos, Abyss and Gaia to retreat. Their commander in charge probably realised that they weren’t the enemy and that interfering would only endanger Earth even more.

Shinn checked the drop numbers again, Junius Seven was closing into Earth’s gravitational pull. He remembered Gill’s words about the altitude and realized there was little time left. As quick as he could he helped out wherever needed and they managed to send down more drills, but even he knew that many lives would still be lost when the pieces dropped down to Earth. Junius Seven was just too large.

Slowly he felt a shift in the zero gravity the longer the mission went on, his internal readings showed nothing valuable but he couldn’t help but feel a slight nausea building up and a small tug in his torso. _Is this what Gill meant?_

Another drill was send down, but seeing the numbers he realized there were no more opportunities to send others down, they were as close as they could manage without getting pulled into Earth’s atmosphere. A message arrived then, not just to him but to all units reading: _Attention all units. LHM-BB01 “Minerva” will descend into the atmosphere with Junius Seven and will fire bow-gun “Tannhäuser” at the objective._

Reading the message made it obviously clear that they had to retreat, his nausea was gradually getting worse as well and he noticed that his scanners were wrongfully reading every now and then, their numbers changing in long irregular intervals.

He set course back to the Minerva, his engines showed strain and he had to boost them more than regular to move forward through the debris. The errors from his scanners were getting more frequent giving him a headache on top of his already bothering nausea. He frowned and went to turn them off when a notion came in.

 _What the hell is that guy doing?!_ flashed through his mind as the reading of Athrun Zala came in. The green Zaku hadn’t set his course to Minerva, instead Shinn found him working on one of the abandoned drills.

“What are you doing?!” he tutted as he flew closer. “We’ve been given orders to retreat. You should have received that notion.”

“ _Yes, I know. You should hurry back._ ”

 _What was this idiot thinking?!_ Shinn frowned and answered back, “Minerva is going to fire at Junius Seven, you’ll end up getting blasted away!” _He could get killed in the blast!_

Athrun ignored his pleas and continued working while saying, “ _Even with a cannon like Minerva’s there’s a great margin of error if you fire from that far a distance. Many pieces will still descend down to Earth, if I can just send this one down.._ ”

Shinn realized Athrun was correct about that. Their mission was over but many people would still die like this, he disliked that idea remembering his own loss and despair. He had promised Gill that he would not risk descending through Earth’s atmosphere, but he also said he would try and protect as many people as possible. If this drill could be send down in time they could still make it back to the Minerva without getting in the dangerzone.

Athrun Zala was willing to risk that and make that sacrifice, he couldn’t just abandon him when he believed in the same principles. The other sounded surprised when he joined him and he couldn’t help but ask in bitter confusion, “Someone like you, why would you side with Orb?” because he just didn’t get it. He just couldn’t place Athrun.

Athrun was never able to reply because they found themselves surprised by their enemy. Shots flew past them, hitting the drill as well as the ground and his radio flared to life, _“Stop! I won’t let you destroy Junius Seven!”_ a male voice yelled over an open link.

“ _Those guys again!_ ” Shinn yelled over the radio as he charged upwards however Athrun remained near the drill, but the machine was too massive to protect and as their enemy opened fire a second time he found himself unable to properly protect it. The shots hit the ground and the unstable rocks broke apart, causing the Meteor Breaker to lose balance and sway to one side.

Shinn meanwhile charged the three Ginn’s. All three showed signs of damage, limbs lost and armor heavily dented from battler but despite this they clearly didn’t want to give up. _It leaves me no choice_ , he thought as pulled his beam saber while rushing forward to one of the units.

The enemy Ginn, with merely a sword in his hand, the other had already been cut off, didn’t back down. He didn’t stand a chance against Shinn. Nonetheless he cried out over the radio, _“My daughter’s tombstone must be dropped and must burn for this this world to change!”_ before Shinn charged at him, sweeping the beam sabre through the Ginn’s waist, the scream of his enemy cutting off when the unit exploded.

Only after did Shinn realize what he just said. “Daughter?” he repeated in confusion.

Athrun thought the same. _Were they veterans?_ Athrun wondered but he had little time to contemplate because he was clashing with another of the Ginn’s. His tomahawk hitting the enemy’s shield while he tried to keep his own in check to block the sword his enemy carried. _Who are they?!_

Their enemy continued to ramble over the open radio frequency, _“Have you forgotten the sorrow involved with the lives that were mercilessly thrown away here?!_

_“Why do you live in such a fabricated world, laughing with the same people who caused all this?!_

_“You’re all being tricked by the cowardly successors of Clyne! Zaft has changed for the worse!”_ their enemy yelled.

Of course Athrun had not forgotten, his own mother had died here after all. He remembered that pain as if it was yesterday. He pushed his enemy back, but the moment was short lasted because he charged forward again. Athrun could only raise his shield and hold.

_“Why can’t you people realize that for us Coordinators the path of Patrick Zala is the one and only correct way?!”_

_Father?!_ He then realized with a shock. _These people were followers of father?!_ He remembered the craze of his father, how he wanted to exterminate all Naturals, all of Earth! These people were following in his footsteps! Even after all this time!

The Ginn took advantage of this moment and raised his swordhand high before cutting off Athrun’s Zaku’s right arm, with that he lost his beam tomahawk, leaving only his shield.

Seeing his team member in danger, Shinn tried to charge forward, but the second Ginn cut off his charge. He pulled back only slightly before countering the unit with his beam saber, the sword cut the mech easily and with a swift move was able to sever both arms, leaving the Ginn defenceless without shield or weapon.

The enemy however refused to give up and in his desperation pushed forward and locked both legs around Impulse’s waist. Before he could react the unit started to glow up and with great force exploded from within. The blast pushed back Impulse and showered it with debris. He yelled as he was roughly thrown back into his seat and gasped when his head hit the headrest hard enough to make red numbers jump throughout his vision, pain flaring through his skull. He shook his head trying to clear it and failed to notice that the debris from the self destructing Ginn had hit the unbalanced drill, sending it down into Junius Seven. However it wasn’t setting off.

When suddenly the gravitational pull set further in he realized they were losing time fast. His eyes widening when slowly everything turned red. He turned off his scanners, they did little to ease the pain in his head and their numbers were incoherent by now. _I have to get Athrun!_ he realized, _we can still make it out!_

 _“This time for sure! We’ll give those Naturals hell!”_ he heard their final enemy yell out and up ahead he saw Athrun struggle with the enemy Ginn. The other pilot had wrapped himself around one of the Zaku’s leg, clinging onto it while trying to pull Athrun down. _He’s trying to kill Athrun and himself!_

With little time to spare and the ache in his torso building up he swept in with haste. He was given little choice but to severe the Zaku’s leg with his beam sabre, with a quick turn he then kicked the Ginn away from them and threw away the sabre to have an open hand. With it he took hold of the Zaku’s hand and maxed out his boosters to pull the both of them out of the area. At least this way they wouldn’t be in firing range of Minerva, now if only they could get away from the altitude.

Unbeknownst his enemy crashed down on Junius Seven with an unheard cry, the combining force of altitude and the kick making the unit uncontrollable. Luckily it crashed near the malfunctioning Meteor Breaker, setting off bomb and tearing the large piece apart.

“I’m getting us out of here! Hang on!” Shinn yelled, though by now his radio was listing nothing but static. _Great!_ he thought and as if things weren’t bad enough his vision flicked on and off. Panic was setting in, his breaths laboured as he felt the pull getting too powerful. Athrun’s Zaku was too heavy to carry along and with a gasp he realized that it was slipping from Impulse’s hold. The two separated and Shinn realized, _we’re not going to make it!_ It didn’t matter how much force he was putting into his thrusters, they were getting pulled down into Earth’s atmosphere.


	7. Phase 07: Land of confussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junius Seven continues to fall and the aftermath.

It’s hard to recognize anything in the blazing light around him and deep inside he prays both him and Shinn are far away enough to avoid the Minerva’s attempt to break up the final large pieces of Junius Seven. He can’t see through the blaze and his scanners are malfunctioning so he can’t look for the Impulse either, instead he focuses back on the controls. The alarms are going off loudly and his meters spin out of control due to the magnetic interference as he tries to diverge power and set up a trajectory as he continues to fall through the atmosphere.

The rocks spread out following the Earth’s horizon, going around the planet before falling down to the surface like blazing red fireballs. Athrun doesn’t have the time to look, instead turns his Zaku to face the planet and positions his shield forward to catch most of the heat and pressure.

Suddenly the blaze of red spreads further and changes the sky into a flaring white, filling his vision and lighting up the cockpit bright enough that it almost blinds him. He has to raise his arm to shield his eyes and suspects this is due to the Minerva, he hopes once again that Shinn is doing alright.

As the light fades he lowers his arm and opens his eyes and for a moment he sees the planet laid out bare below him as an endless blue ocean with clouds spreading over them. The red falling stars wash over the land making a stark contrast between the tones of blue and cloudy whites. For a moment he mouths words that describe this sight as something beautiful, blocking out the alarms that sound around him before realizing the destruction that will follow. With a sharp intake of breath he finds himself back in the present, his hands work along the keys to finish setting up his trajectory and he realizes his Zaku’s cooling systems are malfunctioning. The damage from before is causing heat to build up in various outputs including the cockpit, the Zaku groans and shakes as he steadies the shield and another loud noise confirms that the assembled back unit is letting loose and is tearing away from the body, flying up into the sky before the pressure from the fall can destroy it fully.

As he works his way around the controls and meters he wonders how many people will be affected by what is happening right now, how many families will be torn apart and he briefly wonders if Kira and the others will be alright. He fears the eventual outcome. What would happen if the world knew that the people who caused this were followers of his father? How would that affect everything he and Cagalli had been building on? The thoughts of his father and his madness anger him deep inside, specially since once again he was helpless to stop it.

Miraculously he makes it through the worst of it, the cockpit is still very warm and sweat is running down his face by the buckets but the red blaze is soon replaced by blue skies and clouds. He doesn’t have to lean on the shield anymore to redirect the heat but instead finds himself in another predicament. His meters are still going haywire, their readings incomprehensible and as much as he tries the booster engines simply won’t ignite.

If it goes on like this then it isn’t the heat or pressure that will kill him. No, hitting the surface will do the job just fine. Seeing the great blue grow larger and larger below him isn’t exactly a comfort to his composure.

Another loud groan makes him look up from the meters and controls and before he can fully register it the large shield is torn off. “Damned!” he curses as he tries again and again in annoyance and panic.

“Without the boosters there is no way I can slow down!” he yells at noone in particular but the boosters remain silent as he pulls the controls and the spinning altitude meter adds to his frustration. Suddenly though through the haze of alarms the radio in his helmet flares to life and between the static a voice cries out, _“-run! Athrun! Can yo. ..ar m.. .thrun!”_

Although muffled Athrun recognizes it and quickly yells back at it as if it is a lifeline, “Shinn? Shinn, is that you?!”

The response he gets sounds much clearer, _“Athrun! Stay where you are!..”_ More static and muffled noises but Shinn continues, _“I.. I’ll be right there!”_ he adds in a somewhat quieter tone.

Athrun worries if perhaps Impulse was damaged during the fall and in panic wonders if Shinn is planning to carry them both, he answers swiftly without thinking, “Stop it! Even with the boosters on max Impulse shouldn’t be able to withstand the fall with both our machi-!” Suddenly however the Zaku shakes and he falls forward, he thanks the straps for holding him in his seat and finds that he isn’t falling anymore, it takes him a moment to realize this.

A video link displays on his dashboard and Shinn looks at him with annoyance, _“Why must you always insist on telling us what can and can’t be done!”_ he says with a frown.

With relief Athrun leans back in his seat, still shaken from the fall but after a while he answers back almost comically, “What would you rather have me say..?”

 _“Perhaps.. something like ‘help me, you idiot!’ or ‘hurry up already!’.. something like that.”_ He almost laughs, one moment he’s closing in on death and the other a guy he hardly knows is scolding him for his comments. If it weren’t for him almost hitting the ocean he probably would’ve been more composed, but with his heart still racing in his chest from adrenaline and his fingers still shaking he can only find himself responding to the humor of it. “Would you prefer that?” he answers with a sigh while rolling his neck.

Shinn looks taken aback by his response and quickly answers, _“No, that’s not what I mean, I-”_ he suddenly bends over and coughs heavily, something’s there that causes him to be concerned but Shinn merely leans back in his seat taking several deep breaths before he continues more careful than before, _“..that. that was just an example..”_ he quietly adds.

“Are you alright?” Athrun asks and observes the feedback. He can’t really judge anything from the small screen, but the coughing and heavy breaths worry him, _He wasn’t injured, was he?_ he wonders as he looks the other pilot.

Shinn isn’t looking at him, if anything he seems rather uncomfortable but before he can ask further Shinn replies, _“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright..”_ But more coughs erupt and both units suddenly sway, confirming Athrun’s earlier suspicions.

 “You’re hurt aren’t you? Why didn’t you mention that earlier!” he says, but Shinn seems unswayed and almost worriless which only adds to his frustration.

  _“You.. You wouldn’t understand even if I told you so. I’ll be fine until we get back to the Minerva.”_ he replies quietly yet determined and Athrun wants to say more but decides not to, it would only start an argument and now wasn’t the time and place.

 With the humorous banting now over they remain in silence, he focuses his attention on the radio signals to try and see if he can pick up the Minerva’s signal or anyone else’s in the area, Shinn seems to read his intentions and interrupts, _“If you’re trying to find the Minerva, don’t bother. I’ve set Impulse’s radio signal to broadcast over a wide range, they should’ve picked it up by now. For now all we can do is wait.”_

Athrun stopped trying afterward and the silence between them continued. With little to do he looks back at the monitors seeing the clouds and ocean and then looks back at the camera feedback, Shinn seems to be doing alright despite his mysterious injuries, but Athrun feels that the younger pilot is downplaying them as nothing serious. He knows from experience that you can easily hide injuries from others if you want to keep them to yourself.

 _“Strange isn’t it?”_ Shinn suddenly asks softly breaking the silence, _“The quietness I mean, you wouldn’t be able to tell that somewhere out there..”_ Shinn probably wants to say more but instead remains quiet, Athrun turns his gaze back to the ocean with an understanding of what he tries to say.

The blue skies, the clouds and quiet waves of the ocean all covered up the deaths of probably millions of people. It was an ominous quietness. “What are you getting at?” he asks in return.

Shinn groans as he shakes his head from left to right as if trying to expel something. He replies quietly, _”Sorry for saying weird things. I just.. Lets hope Minerva shows up soon..”_

“Is it your.. system?” Athrun asks, he doesn’t know how to address it to be honest. Calling it Shinn’s ‘body’ seems a tad too personal and awkward. “Did it get damaged during the fall?”

Shinn huffs in response, almost laughing as if detecting his awkwardness. _“I don’t know what you’ve been told but I guess it’s something like that. Apparently it lacks ‘proper protective  isolation’ or whatever-”_ The bleeping of an alarm interrupted their conversation and looking up Athrun could see three bright flares amongst the clouds and could feel Impulse’s trajectory shift to set course towards the signal lights. “Thank God..” Shinn mutters as the ship comes into better view and much alike Athrun is glad to see it in one piece. The ship looks badly damaged, after all it had already sustained damages from the earlier fight with Bogey One. But the fact that it was still in one piece meant that the Minerva was indeed a great war vessel.

 

* * *

 

It takes them a while to be brought into the hangar, they landed on the top deck at the port side but with the heavy winds outside they had to wait inside the cockpit before heading down to the hangar itself. With support from the mechanics and their gear it was an easy task and the Zaku, or what was left of it, was set up in one of the Mobile Suit racks. As he unstrapped from his seat and lowered down to the ground using the transport cable his eyes searched for the Impulse which was standing a bit further back, still assembled as a single unit, but with no sign of Shinn getting out just yet. This worried him a little.

Once down on the ground he was greeted by a small crowd of mechanics who were cheering for his bravery among them was also Lunamaria who greeted him with relief and perhaps some guilt regarding her earlier comments. It was clear that none of them had heard what he and Shinn witnessed during the final drop, if they had they wouldn’t be cheering him on like this. Lunamaria turned to talk to him and he wanted to tell her about Shinn’s injuries when suddenly someone else pushed through the crowd.

“Athrun!” Much to his surprise had she remained aboard the Minerva throughout the mission, he thought she would’ve left with Durandal. Cagalli looked like she wanted to hug him but kept her composure and the surprise in his eyes soon turned to a warm smile because he was glad she was safe and unhurt, he could sense her hesitation and could clearly see that she had been worried about him. She smiles and says, “Athrun, I-” A loud rumbling noise however interrupts her and as the ship shakes he grabs Cagalli’s arm before she can stumble.

“What was that?!” he hears someone ask and in the distance he notices Shinn coming down the cable, he isn’t looking very stable but Rey is already there to help him come off. Gently he passes beside Cagalli and makes his way over through the crowd, Rey has one hand on Shinn’s shoulder but the youth seems to claw at his helmet, reading his intentions Rey removes it for him and with the helmet gone Shinn hunches over and with his hands covers his mouth as deep and discernible, painful coughs rake from his throat. Unsure of what is happening, Athrun stops when he sees white thick liquid pouring from between Shinn’s fingers down to the ground. Once the coughing ends he waves his hands down, whatever stuck to his fingers falling off and hitting the floor with a loud splat. Rey is quick to steady him because Shinn looks like he’s about ready to fall down. Around him he notices people glaring and backing away from the duo.

“Is he alright?” he asks Lunamaria who walks up beside him as Rey helps Shinn stand. Athrun looks down at the thick white goo lying on the ground, searching for any possible answer, but Lunamaria ignores his question and instead walks up to the two.

“Miss Lesgaft is on her way, you idiot.” Athrun overhears Rey say and Shinn laughs wearily. He looks up when he hears heels passing over the metallic floor. Anya Lesgaft, the doctor who had helped Cagalli earlier and revealed head of LR, runs past him carrying a suitcase which she settles down before cradling the boy in front of her.

“I can’t believe you! You stupid idiot!” She snaps as her hands work around his face before she kneels down and opens the suitcase she was carrying which apparently holds a computer system in the inside casis, she pulls a long wire out from the side and connects it to the back of Shinn’s neck. He tries to smile at her, though the white goo that stains his chin isn’t making it a pleasant one.

“Sorry..” Shinn struggles and blinks heavily as he looks up at the ceiling, by now Rey has Shinn’s arm wrapped over his shoulder to keep him steady and Shinn leans heavily against him. “I feel.. dizzy.” he proclaims.

“That’s because half of your nanomachines are going haywire and you ejected about a tenth of them on the floor here.” Anya answers angrily while typing away on the computer.

“Oh..” Shinn answers back bluntly.

Athrun tries to walk up to them but a hand around his arm makes him stop. Cagalli who stands at his side clearly shakes her head with disfavor. Together they watch as the four of them make their way out of the hanger, both pilots at Shinn’s side to carry him and beside them none of the other mechanics or pilots even dare come closer. Instead they watch from a distance with what could clearly be described as discontent. The three of them don’t seem to take notice because Lunamaria is now clearly scolding Shinn as they walk past. He can hear their banter along the way and can’t help but miss that feeling of friendship and.. closeness.

“Athrun, are you alright?” he is shook out of his thoughts and turns as Cagalli releases his arm. “Come on, I think we’re about to land, you could use a shower and then we both need some fresh air.” she states and grabs his hand before pulling him along. The ship makes its landing in the ocean and after a quick refreshing shower and a change of clothes he meets up with Cagalli again as they head outside.

Surprisingly the once blue sky was now filled with grey clouds and al though it was supposed to be summer the temperature seemed to have dropped significantly making it rather chilly outside.

They weren’t the only ones there however, many of the crew had made their way to the outside decks and were looking at the ocean around them with astonishment, Athrun guessed many of them had never ever left the colonies. With the previous war and bad economy many of them could no longer afford to.

“I think we’ve landed in what we call the Pacific Ocean. It’s enormous!”

“We’re not here on vacation you know!”

He noticed how Cagalli stared at them with disapproval, her gaze breaking away only when he nudged her shoulder and motioned towards an area away from everyone else.

“Let them be, Cagalli. Most of them have never even seen an ocean before.” he says as she follows him to a more isolated area. He leans on the railing and looks out over the ocean whilst remembering what had happened earlier.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Athrun?” Cagalli asks him carefully. “I’m fine..” he answers tiredly. He knows he has to tell her, but he is unsure on how he should approach the subject.

“I hadn’t expected that! I was so worried about you. You never said anything about wanting to go out in a mobile suit.” she suddenly says and leans forward on the railing next to him, her shoulder briefly touching his own.

“Sorry about that, I mean for suddenly acting on my own.”

“It’s alright, I was worried but I also know you can handle yourself, Athrun. I was actually glad you went out there, what happened is tragic but I feel that if it weren’t for you, the Minerva or even Yzak’s team the situation would’ve been a lot worse. I’m sure the people on Earth will understand that we did the best we could.”

“But it wasn’t good enough..” he responded bitterly and Cagalli looks at him with surprise for his sudden change of attitude. She didn’t mean to make him feel this way.

“But you did what you could, Athrun!”

“You don’t understand Cagalli, if the people on Earth heard what we heard up there then they wouldn’t react with such understanding!” he scowls rather loudly as straightens up, he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone else heard him, but seeing no one he turns back to Cagalli and quietly adds, “It wasn’t an accident. There were people who caused Junius Seven to drop knowing that millions would die, Cagalli!”

“What do you mean?!” Cagalli responded in shock.

“I.. I’m sorry.. But we couldn’t save anything. The people responsible.. They.. Cagalli, they were Coordinators, Cagalli.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, “But you did everything you could!” she responded fiercely. Athrun however remained quiet, he tried to find the right words to explain it to her.

“We tried but we couldn’t fully stop it from falling and now it is wreaking devastation upon Earth. Millions have already died and even though it was done by just a handful of people the fact remains that they were Coordinators, I don’t think the people will easily forget that.” _Especially since they were followers of my father_ , but Athrun couldn’t speak those words out loud, instead he still remembers their words clearly: ‘for us Coordinators the path of Patrick Zala was the one and only correct path.’

Tired and defeated he turns and leaves Cagalli.

 

* * *

 

Waking up was never a pleasant thing, not when you were put under stasis for an uncertain amount of time. With a sudden breath Shinn inhaled deeply, the first breath of air he had probably taken in hours if not days. He never knew how long he was put under until his system informed him about it, normally it didn’t worry him, but when he opened his eyes and saw only darkness he briefly panicked until he became aware of a hand pushing him down.

“..Calm down, easy.. easy, Shinn.” The sounds were still muffled but slowly the persistent beep he was hearing was clearing up making the voice sound clear and understandable. “Can you hear me now?” He recognized that voice and with strain attempted to respond.

“ _Anya_..?” His voice sounded deformed, the pitch way off from what it usually was. Before he could ask why Anya continued, “Good, your hearing system seems to be stabilizing. Talk a little more Shinn, let your voice synchronize with its old preferences.”

“ _Synchronize_ ? _You had to reset my_ system?” he says with a deformed deep voice that turned higher the more he spoke before tuning down to his usual tone and stabilizing.

“Perfect, now that seems to be in order. Now hold on while I turn on your optics, close your eyes.”

He did as asked and from behind his eyelids a white flash filled his vision before slowly ebbing from red to yellow to green to blue before finally turning back to black. He was aware of the lack of interface with some concern and slowly opened his eyes, blinking as they got used to the dimmed lighting before finally recognizing the ceiling of Anya’s lab onboard of the Minerva. He turned his head and Anya smiled at him before unhooking some of the wires were connected to him. Shinn noticed how tired she looked.

He stretched his toes and fingers and perceived the how heavy his limbs were feeling.

“Don’t try and get up so soon..” she scolded when she noticed his intent. “Do you have any idea how close you were to shutting down! Gil and I told you to be careful and this is what you do! You idiot!” He cried out in pain when she whacked some rolled up files on top of his head.

“Always the same, you’re not just some machine that we can just fix and send back out, Shinn! If something happens up here..” with her finger she pushed against the side of his head. “Then it’s all over!”

“Stop it.. Hey! I’m sorry alright!” he protests as she continued to torment him.

With a sigh she stops and sits back down, “You’re lucky I stayed onboard the ship. You would’ve been in a lot more trouble otherwise. I can’t always stick around while you’re out there doing whatever, you have to be more careful with yourself!”

She continued to scold him as she worked and only after several hours did Shinn feel safe enough to ask her how long long he had been in stasis for. He learned that he had been out for about 5 hours and that by now the sun had gone under and it was early in the evening.

Anya explained that he had to be put under so that his nanomachines could replicate themselves without having to worry about the rest of his system. With too few they would be overstrained and overloaded which was also why his scanners and usual interface were kept offline, he could only run the absolute basics for the moment being because of the magnetic and gravitational interference from the drop. She had to flush out the nanomachines’s malfunctions by resetting his systems, which meant that everything was out of the loop and in time had to be put back in order through synchronization. To Shinn it was as if he had just woken up in a new transplant where the signals from his nanomachines were not yet on par with the signals in his brain. By correcting wrongly received signals his brain had to basically tell his body what to send out when something was hot or cold. It was a slow and annoyingly agonizing process that could take days if not weeks.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Anya scowled as she roughly pulled out the remaining wires and typed away on her system. Shinn couldn’t help but be reminded of his mother whenever Anya acted this way, he refrained from mentioning it because she would probably despise him for calling her old. “I am contacting Gil the coming morning and I am having him send your latest prosthetic down here, it’s useless to try and repair this system when your upgrade is on standby! I do hope you know what that means!” she added while pointing a pen at his distressed face.

Oh did he know! It meant he was refrained from basically everything: target practice, helping out Vino with Impulse, heck it basically meant he was only allowed to walk around and rest, or in his case do everything wrong before his brain and body were on the same page again. His system would be constricted to a safemode and would therefore be mostly offline. He groaned at that prospect. He couldn’t just sit around while-

His eyes widened, “Junius Seven! Anya! What happened to Earth!” He nearly shot out of his chair. He had almost forgotten about it; staying behind with Athrun Zala, the drill, the Coordinators!

_“My daughter’s tombstone must be dropped and must burn for this this world to change!”_

“Calm down!” Anya cried as she pushed him back onto the chair with both hands. Before he could say anything she continued, “I managed to download your radio logs, I already send them over to Gil.” She could see the regret in his eyes and leaned down to meet his eyes. “Shinn don’t fret over it. You did the best you could.”

“And still it wasn’t enough.” he answered while avoiding her gaze, Anya noticed his mechanical hand tightly gripping the armrest. Millions of people died, innocent people just like his parents and Mayu.

“Here,” Anya turned and dropped her tablet on his lap before getting up, “This is all the data we have right now, try to get some rest Shinn. Your system is still calibrating so before you break anything again try to take it easy.” she says while taking off her labcoat

She turned to the door and looked over her shoulder before leaving, “It's just for a couple of days, you’ll be up and at ‘em again in no time, soldier.”

“Thanks, Anya.” He answered as she left.

 

* * *

 

 _“We at the Plants cannot express the great sorrow we feel concerning this calamity of unprecedented proportions. I personally have no words to express how shocked I am to see the scenes of devastation from around the world..”_ It was somewhere early in the morning when Shinn rewatched the footage available from Anya’s tablet, he felt restless and uncertain as he watched Durandal perform his speech during a press conference.

 _“.. I’m sure that the resulting scars are deep and there seem no end in sight to your sorrows, but please my friends of Earth. Please rise from the despair of this day. We are committed to do everything we can to help you through this unimaginable hardship..”_ He knew Gill was doing his best but even he could see the tiredness in his eyes, the strain of being chairman thinning him out as disaster after disaster followed up to what Shinn thought could be an inevitable outcome. Coordinators were the cause of these sorrows, if people knew the truth or at least saw proof of it then another war might be around the corner.

The late night talk shows all spoke of the same subjects, some already claiming what he had already feared. They didn’t speak it out loud but plenty of them were steadily turning their gaze on the Plants as their sole perpetrator. The name of Patrick Zala was dropped here and there but none of them dared to connect the dots without any immediate proof.

Unable to take anymore of these uneducated celebrities he put the tablet aside and instead decided that he needed to walk it off. His reserves were low and his robotic right arm was feeling rather heavy now that most of his functions were kept offline.

Taking his time he got to his feet and grabbed an extra set of his uniform out of one of the cupboards, along with it he grabbed a sling to rest his arm in and pulled his jacket loosely over his shoulders. He felt too tired to bother tidying up his uniform to fit protocol and figured that anyone still out at this hour probably wouldn’t care much about it either.

With his muscles still stiff and cramped he slowly made his way down the hallway, passing only a few mechanics who were still working on the ship’s repairs. They didn’t dare talk to him and simply eyed him as he struggled passed them, their glances moving over the mechanical arm he had in his sling before hurrying up to do whatever it was they were busy doing. Shinn figured both Rey and Lunamaria were taking a rest by now and settled on grabbing something to drink before heading to his bunk.

He passed the corner and entered the cafeteria only to stop when once again he saw Athrun Zala sitting alone on one of the lounge couches. _Why is that guy still up?_ he wondered and couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu.

Athrun, with his back turned towards Shinn, seemed to be reading something and hadn’t heard him stumble in. Instead he looked tired and was rubbing one of his eyes while scanning through a dossier of papers with what seemed to be various diagrams and schematics. Shinn didn’t pay notice and told himself he didn’t care, that was until he passed Athrun from behind and recognized some of the forms.

“I didn’t know Orb bodyguards were allowed to read classified Zaft documents.” he declared as he stood behind the other.

Surprised Athrun quickly gathered the papers and shut the dossier, he looked over his shoulder, eyes widening upon realizing who was speaking to him and he quickly shot up to his feet. “You’re awake! I didn’t think-..” he sputtered but stopped to gather himself before calmly continuing, “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand what was happening back there, but are you alright?” he added as he eyed the sling carrying the mechanical arm.

Shinn frowned, not understanding the sudden concern and walked to one of the vending machines. “Who gave you those files? Those are classified you know!” he suddenly asks and scolds himself for making it sound too harsh and demanding. He grabs his can and turns back to Athrun who doesn’t seem taken aback by his sudden outburst.

“I guess I can understand your anger, there’s quite some interesting stuff in here-”

“You mean interesting stuff about me!” He yells as he clicks open his can with one hand.

“Why are you so angry? The Chairman gave me authorisation and Miss Lesgaft handed me the data when I visited you hours ago.”

“You honestly want me to believe that Gill gave you access and that Anya personally gave you those files?! You’re not even apart of Zaft!”

“Look for yourself then.” Athrun said while reaching out the dossier, Shinn set his can of coffee aside and pulled them from Athrun’s hand. Flipping over to see the front he could definitely make out Anya’s handwriting and numbering. This was definitely from her office. He scowled at the realisation, “That bitch..” he scowled under his breath.

“I see your injuries haven’t affected your good nature, are you always like this?”

Shinn looked up again and practically threw the file back into Athrun’s hand. “Wha-?! What do you mean ‘always like this’! Yes I am when it involves people I hardly even know reading up on schematics that aren’t their business knowing about!” he shouted while taking his coffee back from the machine.

Athrun sighed deeply and rubbed at his temples in annoyance, this felt a hundred times worse than dealing with one of Cagalli’s tantrums. He opened his mouth to say something in return but was interrupted by a sudden spewing of coffee aimed at the floor. “Fucking Christ, that tastes awful!” He looks at the younger pilot with uther astonishment as the other rubs at his mouth and eyes the coffee on the floor with a disturbing glare.

“What did you do that for?!” Athrun loudly asks in discontent at the lack of respect. Never ever had he met anyone that acted this vile. “How dare you! You-” he stops when suddenly Shinn raises his left human hand and interrupts him, “Technical issue..” he mutters still coughing, “I’m really sorry about that.”

Athrun finds it hard to believe but the look Shinn is giving him is not a mocking one, instead he recognizes shame. “To come back to your first question: my prosthetic was badly damaged during the fall. I am now running on minimum functionality not to overstrain my systems. My system required a hard reboot as you might call it, it basically means that everything has been resetted, this includes… taste.” he says while eying the can he is swinging around in his hand, the liquid sloshing against the insides. It felt strange explaining these things when nobody was ever really interested in hearing them. Just like everyone else he’d just be labeled a weirdo or a freak.

“Was the coffee that bad?” He looks up again in surprise when at Athrun’s seemingly genuine question, normally people would back off by now. The other however seemed to be smiling actually.

“The first taste is sour like a lemon, then extremely bitter. But..” He takes a careful sip from the can to try out the flavour and when he tastes the usual coffee like flavour he takes another before lowering the can again. “.. now that my brain recognizes it again, it tastes like regular coffee.”

“And this accounts for everything?” Athrun asks.

“Basically, yes. It’s just temporary but it’s annoying as hell.”

Not knowing how to proceed the two of them stood there in silence until Athrun spoke, “I’m glad you’re alright, I tried to check up on you earlier but-”

“It’s alright! If you’ll excuse me, I have to report to the Captain.” It was a shit excuse but the only thing that Shinn could come up with and he left the room in a hurry after saying their goodbyes. Unused to the kindness of strangers he went back to Anya’s laboratory, a place he knew he could find solitary, and wondered about the many things on his mind.

On one end he couldn’t help but speculate about what would happen next and what could happen. On the other he briefly wondered about what had just happened. He didn’t know Zala on a personal level, actually he loathed the fact that he was behaving like a coward hiding on Orb. Of all places it just had to be Orb and for some reason that damn country kept showing up in his life.

The point was that people he didn’t know personally never showed an interest in him, in fact they stayed as far away from him as possible. And so he couldn’t understand why Zala was showing concern, they probably wouldn’t see each other again anyway. It had caught him off guard.

He had several questions on the tip of his tongue though, concerning the terrorists, Zala’s father and what he was going to do about everything. But Shinn couldn’t get himself to ask them, _it isn’t my business to ask_.

 

* * *

 

 

The bit of rest Athrun had gotten hadn’t done him much good in the end, he had come in shortly after Shinn had left and had tried to get some sleep. Cagalli told him to sleep in the next morning while she tried to establish communication with the government of Orb and Athrun truly tried but sleep just didn’t seem to overcome him. He still hadn’t told Cagalli about the revelations of his father and he knew he should’ve done that right away. But Cagalli still seemed keen on thinking that whatever he had been doing up there was enough to convince an entire nation that the Plants weren’t involved.

He got up somewhere in the early afternoon and wandered around the ship, he met up with the Captain who informed him that the Minerva was heading out to Orb to dock, everything had checked out and the ship was safe enough to make the journey.

When he asked about the damages he was told that Cagalli was going try her best in letting the ship get repaired as a gesture of goodwill after everything that had happened. He didn’t know how the situation would turn out but agreed that this was the best course of action for now. He was wandering around the decks looking for Cagalli when he heard gunshots coming from the outer decks. Curious he steps outside where he finds Lunamaria, her younger sister and Rey doing target practice on a quickly set up range.

The weather has calmed down a bit and the temperature is higher than the previous day but the sky is still enveloped with grey clouds from the asteroids. He observes them and takes in the salty scent of the ocean, the wind takes away some of the tension he was feeling earlier.

“Oh, you’re here!” Lunamaria takes off her headset and walks up to him.

“Is this mandatory training?” he asks.

“As long as we’re out here we might as well practice. At least the weather is great.”

“Did you guys drag these outside?”

“We had some help, it would’ve been a lot quicker if a certain _'_ someone' could help us out, but doctor’s orders.” She looks over her shoulder at what her sister and Rey are doing. Rey seems to be doing alright though, hitting each target in a steady streak and Athrun notices the annoyed look on Lunamaria’s face. “Honestly though, I’m not doing so well. I thought the air might freshen me up but I keep on missing.” she turns back to Athrun, “Won’t you join us?”

He knew what Lunamaria was trying to do, but Athrun had to remind himself that he wasn’t here to befriend the crew and briefly answered, “Sorry, I’ll have to pass.”

Lunamaria however was not taking no for an answer, she took off her glasses and spoke, “I’m sorry if I’m out of line here, but there’s no need for concern here. Truth is all of us here know a great deal about you.

Formerly a Zaft Red, part of the Le Creuset Team. In the middle stages of the war, you defeated the Strike Gundam, said to have been the strongest.

After which you were assigned to the Faith special forces team which reported directly to the National Defense Committee. There you became a pilot of the ZGMF X09A Justice. You’re Athrun Zala.

Look, I don’t know much about your father, I doubt any of us do, but to us you’re quite a hero, especially after what happened during the battle of Jachin Due.”

Athrun was at a loss of words. He had expected people to be judgemental about his relationship with his father and decision to abandon the Zaft forces, he hadn’t expected there to be any heroic worship.

“I also heard you’re quite skilled with a gun.” Lunamaria held out her pistol, “Could you show us? I mean we would be honored if you would.”

Athrun felt tempted to say no, but somewhere he felt eager to try for himself. Lunamaria was trying to make him open up a bit, to be less of the guy who stuck around as Cagalli’s bodyguard and more as the person he actually was. He thought back to the longing he felt when he saw them drag away Shinn, cracking jokes in the middle of a disaster much like he once did with Yzak and Dearka when he was younger.

“Alright.” he answered while taking the gun from her hand and weighing the pistol in as he stepped up to the machine. He didn’t have to adjust any settings, the model used at the track was exactly the same as the ones he had been using when he was still a red coat himself.

He gripped the pistol tightly as he raised it, both eyes following down the barrel as he opened fire. It wasn’t something he was ever going to forget, his coordinator genes made sure of that, and so with extreme ease he managed to take down target after target, red outlines confirming hit after hit. He vaguely heard Lunamaria gasp out in surprise but kept his focus on the targets that popped up one after another. He didn’t waste ammo, taking each of them out with a single bullet until he ran out.

By now both Rey and Lunamaria’s younger sister had stopped firing themselves to observe what he was doing and when he turned around he noticed that Shinn had also joined them, though it didn’t seem like he was here to practise.

“Wow! Hard to believe you’re using the same gun! Unbelievable!” Lunamaria cheered ecstatically.

“It isn’t the gun,” he said while demonstrating, “you seem to have a habit in twisting your wrist whenever you pull the trigger. That’s why it isn’t hitting your intended target.” He returned the gun to Lunamaria.

“Athrun?”

He saw Cagalli looking down at them from an upper deck overlooking the practise range and turns back to Lunamaria to say, “It is however pretty useless to be good at shooting like that.”

Lunamaria responded however in disapproval, “I must disagree, it’s necessary to protect yourself and your friends from an enemy.”

Their foolhardiness reminded him of himself back in those days, back when he still thought the same way. “And who would the enemy protect?” He realized this as soon as he met Kira again on the battlefield. Athrun turned to leave then but someone called up to him from the hallways and he turned to see Shinn walking up to him.

“I heard the Minerva is heading to Orb.”

“That’s possible yes.”

“Does that mean you’ll also be returning there?”

 _Why was he asking these questions?_ “Doesn’t that seem obvious?”

“But why? What will you do there?”

Thinking about it Athrun couldn’t really find a definite answer. What was he going to do once they docked at the harbor? He wanted to actively help preventing another war, but the way things were now, the way the terrorists were linked to his father, he couldn’t help but feel doubt.

“I.. I don’t know..” he answered and continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I forget, merry Christmas everyone!
> 
> I had to rewrite a lot of this chapter, I'd change one thing then 2 weeks later change them all over again because I simply felt that it didn't work well. It isn't easy to make a conversation between two guys where one suddenly spews coffee on the floor without it sounding extremely forced and cheesy.
> 
> I did get a lot of prep work done to outline the coming chapters, but it might take longer cause I want to have 2 chapters in my back pocket before posting a new one, this because the political situation is rather complex from this point on and because a lot of my own input has to be interwoven with what is going on. I don't want to make any mistakes.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, it is also being crossposted on ff.net but nowadays Archive seems to take better care about interface and site friendliness.


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